our heater has been blowing cold air and running nonstop. as i listen to it run all i can hear is cha-ching. i know how much it is costing for that thing to run and run and run. it isn't worth the money to have it running and to still be freezing. so i turned it off. now i'm really cold but no colder than when it was on. bug is asleep and has possession of the space heater in her room. when she wakes up i am so camping out in front of it!
my face is breaking out like it is 15 years old. while i do wish i was a little closer to 15 than i am i do not wish to have the same skin! actually, i don't think i had this much trouble with my skin when i was 15. i am one big walking zit! it is oh so attractive. my sweet husband says he hasn't even noticed. he has learned well. ha!
my home is a mess. in fact, i should be tackling the living room and kitchen right this moment while my girl rests. i feel like my value as a stay at home mom rests in how sparkly my home is and how delicious my made from scratch dinners are (um, scratch, yeah right). but i spend most of my time at home on the floor playing with blocks, reading books, and snuggling baby dolls and a 13 month old sweetie girl. during that play time i don't feel bad about the unvacuumed floors or the less than shiny kitchen counter. i have worked it out with honey bear for him to take bug out on saturday so i can have full reign of every room without being followed by a curious little one. i have to say i am looking forward to the concentrated cleaning i will be able to accomplish!
bug had an appointment with a neurosurgeon at duke yesterday. we were meeting with him to figure out how to follow up on the discovery of her cyst. the cyst is in the very center of the brain. the doctor feels she has most likely had it since birth and that her head size has nothing to do with it. bug will have another mri in may to see if there has been any growth. if not she will have another mri 6 months from then. if there is still no growth we will not have to do anything else. we will simply know it is there in case any symptoms ever happen to develop. if there is growth we may have to discuss surgery. the neurosurgeon is quite confident this will not be something we have to worry about. it was really nice to be able to talk to someone who has seen this before and has operated on it before. i do feel better.
as for today, i am simply resting in the knowledge that i am a daughter of the King, that i am redeemed, that i am loved despite the great mistakes i have made and the many flaws i carry. and i will probably, no, i will, get some work done around here!
Showing posts with label girl thing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girl thing. Show all posts
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
This world has nothing for me
isn't it so easy to get your priorities all out of order? remember these verses:
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. matthew 6:19-21
this passage is like a punch right in the stomach to me sometimes. that last part about my heart being where my treasure is - um, i would rather my heart not reside in target. know what i mean? i like to try to rationalize my want of material possessions.
growing up my family didn't have a bunch of money. now, i don't think i ever realized this - i always had clothes and food and i don't remember feeling deprived of anything. but i know that we didn't go on family vacations and money was often sparse. so when i graduated from college and started working as a teacher i thought i was a millionaire (which is funny since teachers are grossly underpaid!). i realized that i could go out to dinner with friends if i wanted to and i didn't need to double check my bank account first. i could buy the cute skirt i just happened upon at target and not have to wait for it to go on sale.
my first year of marriage was much the same. we were both working full time jobs and making a pretty comfortable living. now, though, as a stay at home mommy and a one income family some things are different. we still have more than we need. we still go out often and i still buy cute skirts at target (when there's a sale) but we aren't as comfortable as we would be if we were both working. the monetary sacrifice, however, is definitely worth being able to stay home with my daughter.
the only problem is that i start to think that our worth as a family lies in our bank account. i want people to see us and see how neat and well dressed the three of us are and think that we must be something. i want us to have the latest and greatest whatever because won't we be thought of better? doesn't that make you sick of me?! it makes me sick of myself!!! i am doing exactly what the Lord has told me not to do - i am laying up my treasures in the credit union. if i spent half the time in a day trying to minister grace to other human beings as i spend thinking about what i am going to wear to this event or what i can buy tomorrow or does mine look as good as hers i would be able to make quite an impact for the Kingdom.
when i get to Heaven and stand before God is He going to talk to me about all the fantastic pieces of clothing and jewelry i owned, how well dressed my children were, and how nicely decorated my home was? is He going to care that i had the next and best piece of technology and that i carried it around in an oh so cute pocketbook? i'm going out on a limb here but i'm guessing He doesn't give a flip. He actually says that all of my "stuff" doesn't mean anything about the person i am and that i need to be careful to not try to "keep up with the Joneses:"
And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15
i am afraid that for women this is often a big stumbling block. we compare ourselves to each other far too much. we want to measure up in our appearance, in our children's appearance, in our home's appearance. it is so easy to get caught up in materialism and covetousness. i am more than ashamed that my heart is wrapped in it. my prayer is that the Lord will remind me that i am on this earth for a reason and that reason isn't shopping or having what "she" has. i am here to glorify my Father in Heaven and to share the good news of His Son to all those i meet. may i use my finances to further the Kingdom by caring for the widows and orphans of the world and not trying to further my status by padding my expendable income. may i be looked at by others and seen as an example of Jesus Christ and not simply as a well dressed, fancy phone using, nice car driving, big house owning woman. i would like to be able to say that if i had not one penny to my name and only sackcloth to wear and a mat to sleep on that i would be just as content in my God. there is a bigger picture here and how nice my dress is or how my house is furnished in the picture doesn't really matter so much.
caedmon's call sings a song called this world. there is a line in the song that sums this all up perfectly: This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/All that I could want and nothing that I need.
may our treasures be in Heaven...
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. matthew 6:19-21
this passage is like a punch right in the stomach to me sometimes. that last part about my heart being where my treasure is - um, i would rather my heart not reside in target. know what i mean? i like to try to rationalize my want of material possessions.
growing up my family didn't have a bunch of money. now, i don't think i ever realized this - i always had clothes and food and i don't remember feeling deprived of anything. but i know that we didn't go on family vacations and money was often sparse. so when i graduated from college and started working as a teacher i thought i was a millionaire (which is funny since teachers are grossly underpaid!). i realized that i could go out to dinner with friends if i wanted to and i didn't need to double check my bank account first. i could buy the cute skirt i just happened upon at target and not have to wait for it to go on sale.
my first year of marriage was much the same. we were both working full time jobs and making a pretty comfortable living. now, though, as a stay at home mommy and a one income family some things are different. we still have more than we need. we still go out often and i still buy cute skirts at target (when there's a sale) but we aren't as comfortable as we would be if we were both working. the monetary sacrifice, however, is definitely worth being able to stay home with my daughter.
the only problem is that i start to think that our worth as a family lies in our bank account. i want people to see us and see how neat and well dressed the three of us are and think that we must be something. i want us to have the latest and greatest whatever because won't we be thought of better? doesn't that make you sick of me?! it makes me sick of myself!!! i am doing exactly what the Lord has told me not to do - i am laying up my treasures in the credit union. if i spent half the time in a day trying to minister grace to other human beings as i spend thinking about what i am going to wear to this event or what i can buy tomorrow or does mine look as good as hers i would be able to make quite an impact for the Kingdom.
when i get to Heaven and stand before God is He going to talk to me about all the fantastic pieces of clothing and jewelry i owned, how well dressed my children were, and how nicely decorated my home was? is He going to care that i had the next and best piece of technology and that i carried it around in an oh so cute pocketbook? i'm going out on a limb here but i'm guessing He doesn't give a flip. He actually says that all of my "stuff" doesn't mean anything about the person i am and that i need to be careful to not try to "keep up with the Joneses:"
And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15
i am afraid that for women this is often a big stumbling block. we compare ourselves to each other far too much. we want to measure up in our appearance, in our children's appearance, in our home's appearance. it is so easy to get caught up in materialism and covetousness. i am more than ashamed that my heart is wrapped in it. my prayer is that the Lord will remind me that i am on this earth for a reason and that reason isn't shopping or having what "she" has. i am here to glorify my Father in Heaven and to share the good news of His Son to all those i meet. may i use my finances to further the Kingdom by caring for the widows and orphans of the world and not trying to further my status by padding my expendable income. may i be looked at by others and seen as an example of Jesus Christ and not simply as a well dressed, fancy phone using, nice car driving, big house owning woman. i would like to be able to say that if i had not one penny to my name and only sackcloth to wear and a mat to sleep on that i would be just as content in my God. there is a bigger picture here and how nice my dress is or how my house is furnished in the picture doesn't really matter so much.
caedmon's call sings a song called this world. there is a line in the song that sums this all up perfectly: This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/All that I could want and nothing that I need.
may our treasures be in Heaven...
Friday, January 29, 2010
friday and chili's and friends and snow
oh, i just love friday. it means that my sweet husband gets to stay home with us tomorrow. and this saturday it really means we get to stay home together because it is S.N.O.W.I.N.G!!!
tonight i had dinner at one of my favorite places - chili's - with some of my favorite friends from church. we had such a nice time together girl talking and God talking. talking about God's grace and forgiveness and what it looks like to live out what we say we believe never gets old to me. i love talking to all kinds of people but there is nothing as sweet as the conversations had with other believers. heaven is gonna be pretty awesome!
so i guess that is it for tonight. i am going to go settle in with my honey bear to enjoy some quiet snow time together before bug gets up bright and early in the morning! hope you have a cozy weekend!
tonight i had dinner at one of my favorite places - chili's - with some of my favorite friends from church. we had such a nice time together girl talking and God talking. talking about God's grace and forgiveness and what it looks like to live out what we say we believe never gets old to me. i love talking to all kinds of people but there is nothing as sweet as the conversations had with other believers. heaven is gonna be pretty awesome!
so i guess that is it for tonight. i am going to go settle in with my honey bear to enjoy some quiet snow time together before bug gets up bright and early in the morning! hope you have a cozy weekend!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
it is 20 minutes to midnight...
and i am at a loss for blog fodder. the only thing on my mind at this moment is my great desire for a big glass of dr. pepper with lots of ice...mmmm....that would really hit the spot.
i tried to guilt honey bear into going out to get some. i am not pregnant so my cravings are not so readily fulfilled. i told him if he loved me he would go out for some dr. pepper. that was about an hour ago and he hasn't left his spot on the couch. i'm pretty sure this just proves he doesn't want to get dressed and go out this late at night and not that his love for me is waning. right? =)
oh, i suppose i will just go to bed. if i'm asleep it would be hard to drink a dr. pepper anyway.
i tried to guilt honey bear into going out to get some. i am not pregnant so my cravings are not so readily fulfilled. i told him if he loved me he would go out for some dr. pepper. that was about an hour ago and he hasn't left his spot on the couch. i'm pretty sure this just proves he doesn't want to get dressed and go out this late at night and not that his love for me is waning. right? =)
oh, i suppose i will just go to bed. if i'm asleep it would be hard to drink a dr. pepper anyway.
Monday, January 25, 2010
mama said there'd be days like this
whew! i am glad this monday is coming to a close. my day started at 5 am this morning. i was awakened by a bloody murder screaming baby. i don't think i have ever moved that fast in my life. bug has been having some potty issues and 5 am seemed like a good time to go, i suppose. so i quieted and changed her and went back to bed. she woke again at 7:30 quite fussy. she was able to go back to sleep and the next thing i knew i looked at the clock and it was 9:15 - not too bad! though my head was hurting something terrible...
bug has been quite fussy today. she is teething. if there is a toothless spot in her mouth a tooth is trying to come through! and those molars - ugh! i understand her discomfort. but i am beat, and so is she. we just went through our normal bedtime routine - supper, bath, play, story, pray, rock, bed - and i am going to take a bubble bath (yes, my first act of personal hygiene today other than washing my hands). i am in the middle of nicholas sparks's dear john so i think i will take that to the tub with me. goodbye, monday!
there'd be days like this my mama said...i think she told me about this...
bug has been quite fussy today. she is teething. if there is a toothless spot in her mouth a tooth is trying to come through! and those molars - ugh! i understand her discomfort. but i am beat, and so is she. we just went through our normal bedtime routine - supper, bath, play, story, pray, rock, bed - and i am going to take a bubble bath (yes, my first act of personal hygiene today other than washing my hands). i am in the middle of nicholas sparks's dear john so i think i will take that to the tub with me. goodbye, monday!
there'd be days like this my mama said...i think she told me about this...
Friday, December 18, 2009
hark! the herald angels stress...
i am pretty sure the herald angels were singing and not stressing, but it is easy to forget about the singing this time of year. i haven't noticed it in past years so much, but this Christmas i find myself looking like this:
it started with the decorations - put the tree up, don't put the tree up; decorate only the living room, decorate any room with a surface to decorate; too many decorations, not enough decorations.
followed by the card - send a card, don't send a card; pay extra for a photo card, send a simple card; send a card to every person you have made eye contact with since kindergarten, send a card to family and close friends.
then came the shopping - so many people, so little money. it seems like there just isn't enough cash to buy decent gifts for everyone on our list.
and what is Christmas without decorations, cards, and gifts?! i think i need to take a breath. i need to remember that Christmas isn't about any one of those things. and while i know that Christmas is the time of year i can reflect on the birth of my Savior, that great Gift gets lost and nearly forgotten under all the envelope addressing and gift wrapping. i spend more evenings lamenting all that is still left to do and buy and no time praising the Baby born to save my soul.
i don't believe that anything is inheritantly wrong with decorating your home or giving a gift. however, if the meaning of Christmas is an afterthought, an excuse to buy and receive, there is a problem.
Jesus was born so that we may receive a gift not found in stores; a gift that would not be forgotten before the next December 25th rolls around; a gift that relieves stress, not causes it; maybe next year we will forgo all of the commercial/consumerist pomp and circumstance and use the season to be thankful for and to share the best gift ever given - eternal life through the blood of Jesus Christ.
may we remember the young mother cradling her newborn Son - her Son sent to be the Savior of the world.
"Kissing the Face of God" by Morgan Weistling
it started with the decorations - put the tree up, don't put the tree up; decorate only the living room, decorate any room with a surface to decorate; too many decorations, not enough decorations.
followed by the card - send a card, don't send a card; pay extra for a photo card, send a simple card; send a card to every person you have made eye contact with since kindergarten, send a card to family and close friends.
then came the shopping - so many people, so little money. it seems like there just isn't enough cash to buy decent gifts for everyone on our list.
and what is Christmas without decorations, cards, and gifts?! i think i need to take a breath. i need to remember that Christmas isn't about any one of those things. and while i know that Christmas is the time of year i can reflect on the birth of my Savior, that great Gift gets lost and nearly forgotten under all the envelope addressing and gift wrapping. i spend more evenings lamenting all that is still left to do and buy and no time praising the Baby born to save my soul.
i don't believe that anything is inheritantly wrong with decorating your home or giving a gift. however, if the meaning of Christmas is an afterthought, an excuse to buy and receive, there is a problem.
Jesus was born so that we may receive a gift not found in stores; a gift that would not be forgotten before the next December 25th rolls around; a gift that relieves stress, not causes it; maybe next year we will forgo all of the commercial/consumerist pomp and circumstance and use the season to be thankful for and to share the best gift ever given - eternal life through the blood of Jesus Christ.
may we remember the young mother cradling her newborn Son - her Son sent to be the Savior of the world.
"Kissing the Face of God" by Morgan WeistlingWednesday, December 16, 2009
our christmas home
boy, i haven't been around here much lately. and i am super late for the nester's christmas tour of homes. but better late than never, right??? my decorations are pretty minimal this year with a newly cruising/just about walking, into everything and everything into her mouth 11 month old!
so without further ado - welcome to my christmas home!
a close up of the wreath. i made this about 3 years ago and it has really held up well!
the mat right inside the door.
the hallway as you enter
a "gift" my husband's grandmother made - i leave it out year round because it matches my kitchen.
this mirror is over our couch. i got the wreath at target for $2.50 and hot glued the ornaments on.
i usually use this glass bead garland on our tree. but this year we opted not to put the big tree up because of buggie's uncontrollable curiosity and mama's need for sanity! so i filled up the bottom of this hurricane vase with the garland.
a nativity ornament that is usually on our tree found a nice home on this decorative jar on a bookcase in the living room.
our bitty 18 inch tree. it will find a new home in buggie's room or in the kitchen next Christmas.
our stockings hung over the television. i found the stocking holders a couple years ago at the dollar store! i bought 4 of them with dreams of two little ones to fill the others one day. i was so happy to hang buggie's stocking on one of those hooks!
my favorite Christmas decoration - my nativity. i just love this! the crosses hang here year round. i thought the imagery of the Baby Jesus under the cross was pretty touching and a great reminder of why Jesus was born in the first place. this picture does not do this justice!
thank you for stopping by my place! after your visit to my home jump over to the nesting place and take a look around some really lovely decorated homes that often cause me to be envious, but in a nice Christlike way (is that possible? ha!)!
so without further ado - welcome to my christmas home!
our front door
a close up of the wreath. i made this about 3 years ago and it has really held up well!
the mat right inside the door.
the hallway as you enter
a "gift" my husband's grandmother made - i leave it out year round because it matches my kitchen.
this mirror is over our couch. i got the wreath at target for $2.50 and hot glued the ornaments on.
i usually use this glass bead garland on our tree. but this year we opted not to put the big tree up because of buggie's uncontrollable curiosity and mama's need for sanity! so i filled up the bottom of this hurricane vase with the garland.
a nativity ornament that is usually on our tree found a nice home on this decorative jar on a bookcase in the living room.
our bitty 18 inch tree. it will find a new home in buggie's room or in the kitchen next Christmas.
our stockings hung over the television. i found the stocking holders a couple years ago at the dollar store! i bought 4 of them with dreams of two little ones to fill the others one day. i was so happy to hang buggie's stocking on one of those hooks!
my favorite Christmas decoration - my nativity. i just love this! the crosses hang here year round. i thought the imagery of the Baby Jesus under the cross was pretty touching and a great reminder of why Jesus was born in the first place. this picture does not do this justice!
thank you for stopping by my place! after your visit to my home jump over to the nesting place and take a look around some really lovely decorated homes that often cause me to be envious, but in a nice Christlike way (is that possible? ha!)!Wednesday, November 25, 2009
jesus loves mean people too
whenever we go out i usually (not absolutely 100% of the time) make sure bug is donning a hairbow. i just love them on her. and, afterall, she is my little girl!
bug and i and one of her many hairbows!
so today was no different. we went to dinner with her nana, papa, and her aunt a and then to target and bug's outfit was complete with a hairbow. she really does not mind them one bit. the only time she ever pulls at the hairbow is when she is really sleepy. other than that those bows stay on all day and, no, we never have a fight when putting them on. i would say 99.9% of the time we hear ooos and ahhhs and "she is so cute" and "look at that hairbow" from people we come across. today, though, we had our first not so friendly reaction.
while in target a woman walked by us, looked directly at bug, very audibly and with great disdain said "ugh, poor kid" and continued walking by. i, of course, couldn't let that go and said, "my child is very happy." she, indeed, was very happy - cooing and laughing and playing with her aunt a. i can't be for certain why this woman said this but i drew the conclusion that the hairbow was the culprit. i would so love to say that i was oh so very Christlike towards this woman, but i cannot tell a lie. i immediately began pointing out all physical things about her that were unbecoming: her 3 shades of blue hair, her tshirt that was inside out, her overall obnoxious demeanor. is she obnoxious? i really can't say - my anger was talking.
as i've been able to step back from this for a bit i realize that i was no better than this woman. and she, if truth be told, really did nothing wrong. so she doesn't like bug's hairbow - big deal! i took her comment as an attack on my parenting. my parenting is no better or worse due to her comment. but my heart and attitude could've responded in a much better way. i am pretty positive that the Lord was not pleased with my glaring at this woman or with my negative comments toward her even if she didn't hear them. i gave not a fleeting thought to this woman's eternal person and focused solely on how she had hurt me and how she was way worse off than my sweet daughter wearing a hairbow. truth is, she may just be worse off - she may not know Jesus as her Savior. i look back now and wonder if i could've used the few seconds i tried to assure her of bug's happiness to say something of more eternal value. i wonder how things would've been different if i had looked past her personal preferences that i do not share (ie blue hair) and tried to see her as someone my Savior loves and calls for me to love.
i am ashamed that i cannot walk the walk of Jesus when it matters. i am really good at talking about it but when it matters my flesh seems to always win out. i hope next time i can hear with Jesus' ears and see with His eyes.
*and this has absolutely nothing to do with this post but i just wanted to say how H.O.T. my husband is* (that's for you, baby! love you so much!)*
bug and i and one of her many hairbows!
so today was no different. we went to dinner with her nana, papa, and her aunt a and then to target and bug's outfit was complete with a hairbow. she really does not mind them one bit. the only time she ever pulls at the hairbow is when she is really sleepy. other than that those bows stay on all day and, no, we never have a fight when putting them on. i would say 99.9% of the time we hear ooos and ahhhs and "she is so cute" and "look at that hairbow" from people we come across. today, though, we had our first not so friendly reaction.
while in target a woman walked by us, looked directly at bug, very audibly and with great disdain said "ugh, poor kid" and continued walking by. i, of course, couldn't let that go and said, "my child is very happy." she, indeed, was very happy - cooing and laughing and playing with her aunt a. i can't be for certain why this woman said this but i drew the conclusion that the hairbow was the culprit. i would so love to say that i was oh so very Christlike towards this woman, but i cannot tell a lie. i immediately began pointing out all physical things about her that were unbecoming: her 3 shades of blue hair, her tshirt that was inside out, her overall obnoxious demeanor. is she obnoxious? i really can't say - my anger was talking.
as i've been able to step back from this for a bit i realize that i was no better than this woman. and she, if truth be told, really did nothing wrong. so she doesn't like bug's hairbow - big deal! i took her comment as an attack on my parenting. my parenting is no better or worse due to her comment. but my heart and attitude could've responded in a much better way. i am pretty positive that the Lord was not pleased with my glaring at this woman or with my negative comments toward her even if she didn't hear them. i gave not a fleeting thought to this woman's eternal person and focused solely on how she had hurt me and how she was way worse off than my sweet daughter wearing a hairbow. truth is, she may just be worse off - she may not know Jesus as her Savior. i look back now and wonder if i could've used the few seconds i tried to assure her of bug's happiness to say something of more eternal value. i wonder how things would've been different if i had looked past her personal preferences that i do not share (ie blue hair) and tried to see her as someone my Savior loves and calls for me to love.
i am ashamed that i cannot walk the walk of Jesus when it matters. i am really good at talking about it but when it matters my flesh seems to always win out. i hope next time i can hear with Jesus' ears and see with His eyes.
*and this has absolutely nothing to do with this post but i just wanted to say how H.O.T. my husband is* (that's for you, baby! love you so much!)*
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
i am 25 and holding
i just got an email today about my...ahem...10 year high school class reunion. i was certain that i was emailed by mistake. i checked the sender's name again and my name again. ok, they meant to send it to me. so surely someone miscounted. there is no way i should be receiving information about a 10 year high school reunion. that is just crazy since i just graduated last year!
where oh where does the time go? i remember high school like it was yesterday. i don't feel a day over 15. but then i look around and realize i live 500 miles away from my parents, i have a husband, a baby, and i was a teacher myself for 3 years. i guess 10 years has gone by.
my best friends who was born the day before me, and yes, we have known each other as long, said not too long ago that she is 25. i quickly reminded her that we are indeed 27. she corrected me, "no, i am 25 and holding." of course! now i get it. me, too!
where oh where does the time go? i remember high school like it was yesterday. i don't feel a day over 15. but then i look around and realize i live 500 miles away from my parents, i have a husband, a baby, and i was a teacher myself for 3 years. i guess 10 years has gone by.
my best friends who was born the day before me, and yes, we have known each other as long, said not too long ago that she is 25. i quickly reminded her that we are indeed 27. she corrected me, "no, i am 25 and holding." of course! now i get it. me, too!
Monday, November 23, 2009
teeth trees and pulling up
oh, goodness, bug just keeps teething! once those little buggers break through we are fine, but waiting for that to happen may just drive me mad! buggie was just miserable today. every morning i walk into her room to a happily cooing and smiling little girl. this morning i walked in to screaming fit for a horror movie. and it didn't end when i picked her up. she went on this way until about 3:30 when i took a look around her mouth, saw that little area of gums that was translucent looking and bulging, gave her some tylenol, and finally rocked/coaxed her to sleep. she slept for 2 hours and woke up in pretty good spirits. i felt her gums and sure enough that little tooth had broken through. glory! hopefully tomorrow is a tooth free day...
this will be bug's first christmas. i am really looking forward to seeing her in her christmas jammies and ripping open packages. i have had grand pictures in my head of us photographing our little sweetie in her christmas dress in front of the tree. but i don't think those reveries will come true this year. see, our little one is pulling up and cruising around - and still putting everything she finds into her mouth. i am not so keen on putting the tree up this year. it is already a full day's work keeping her out of our general decorations - i can't imagine keeping her out of the tree and keeping the tree out of her mouth! so as much as i hate the idea of not having our tree up i really think my sanity will thank me in the long run. fortunately we will be spending christmas day at my parents' house where their tree will be up and twinkling so it won't be a completely tree free christmas.
i feel like these teething, learning to walk, eating anything that fits into her mouth days are really long sometimes. but then i think of her having all of her teeth, walking to the school bus, and being pretty picky about what goes into her mouth and i miss my baby.
this will be bug's first christmas. i am really looking forward to seeing her in her christmas jammies and ripping open packages. i have had grand pictures in my head of us photographing our little sweetie in her christmas dress in front of the tree. but i don't think those reveries will come true this year. see, our little one is pulling up and cruising around - and still putting everything she finds into her mouth. i am not so keen on putting the tree up this year. it is already a full day's work keeping her out of our general decorations - i can't imagine keeping her out of the tree and keeping the tree out of her mouth! so as much as i hate the idea of not having our tree up i really think my sanity will thank me in the long run. fortunately we will be spending christmas day at my parents' house where their tree will be up and twinkling so it won't be a completely tree free christmas.
i feel like these teething, learning to walk, eating anything that fits into her mouth days are really long sometimes. but then i think of her having all of her teeth, walking to the school bus, and being pretty picky about what goes into her mouth and i miss my baby.
Friday, November 20, 2009
nothing in particular and everything on my mind
i wasn't really sure what to write about tonight so i guess i'll just do a little rambling. =) can we talk about how crazy a day can be with a little one who crawls all over the place and is now pulling herself up on anything she can put her hands on?! i feel like most of my day is spent telling bug "stay away from there" and "don't touch that." and i am pretty sure i never sit. i am trying to see the bright side - never sitting has got to equal some calories burned!
so i have missed my quiet time with Jesus two days in a row. it makes such a difference to your day. i think i will do some Bible reading before bed tonight. i really like to do it first thing in the morning, but the past two mornings both bug and i have slept in. the extra sleep has been nice but i really miss the extra time with Jesus. i MUST get back on track! i've been thinking about incorporating some singing into my time. i really love singing praise to the Lord and why not do it during my devotions? do you use music for your quiet time? do you use a devotional book? i am always interested in knowing what works for everyone. i don't really have a set thing i do. right now i read a devotional and then follow the schedule for reading the Bible through in a year. i like getting an old and new testament passage and a psalm in. do you have any recommendations for devotional books?
my sweet honey bear didn't get home from work until 9pm tonight! oh, i missed him! i had gone ahead and fed bug dinner before he got home and she went down for the night as he was walking in. the two of us had hamburgers and fries from take out for dinner. it was yummy and i am simply ignoring the lack of health benefits in the meal. we are both sitting on the couch now and winding down for the night.
i will spare you any more mundane details of my day. i will leave you, however with another song by casting crowns on their new cd until the whole world hears. i am just really loving this cd right now!
so i have missed my quiet time with Jesus two days in a row. it makes such a difference to your day. i think i will do some Bible reading before bed tonight. i really like to do it first thing in the morning, but the past two mornings both bug and i have slept in. the extra sleep has been nice but i really miss the extra time with Jesus. i MUST get back on track! i've been thinking about incorporating some singing into my time. i really love singing praise to the Lord and why not do it during my devotions? do you use music for your quiet time? do you use a devotional book? i am always interested in knowing what works for everyone. i don't really have a set thing i do. right now i read a devotional and then follow the schedule for reading the Bible through in a year. i like getting an old and new testament passage and a psalm in. do you have any recommendations for devotional books?
my sweet honey bear didn't get home from work until 9pm tonight! oh, i missed him! i had gone ahead and fed bug dinner before he got home and she went down for the night as he was walking in. the two of us had hamburgers and fries from take out for dinner. it was yummy and i am simply ignoring the lack of health benefits in the meal. we are both sitting on the couch now and winding down for the night.
i will spare you any more mundane details of my day. i will leave you, however with another song by casting crowns on their new cd until the whole world hears. i am just really loving this cd right now!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
thumbs up thursday
i am feeling a bit guilty tonight. were you hoping for a new emotion? sorry. anyway, feeling some guilt. i think i may have rushed bedtime tonight.
the clock said 7:40, bug said in not so many words that she was sleepy, and i said i am ready to be done for the day. so honey bear offered to change our sweet girl into her jammies. i should've come to her room right after for a story, Bible time, and a song but instead i just yelled in, "nite nite, buggie. i love you," and honey bear put her down. now she was out in less than 60 seconds of her head hitting the...she doesn't use a pillow, but you get the idea, so i know without a doubt that she was exhausted. i just feel bad because all i could think about was this (yes, those are my tootsies):
it has been a long day. nothing out of the ordinary, i am just feeling especially worn down. so i am now lounging in my bubble bath thinking about how nice it is to just be danielle for a bit and not mommy. being mommy is so great but just being danielle comes with a lot less demands. so i will rest tonight and wake up ready to be bug's mom 100% in the morning.
until then i give a thumbs up to bedtime! (and blogging in the bathtub even though my husband is none too thrilled about my computer being so close to water)
the clock said 7:40, bug said in not so many words that she was sleepy, and i said i am ready to be done for the day. so honey bear offered to change our sweet girl into her jammies. i should've come to her room right after for a story, Bible time, and a song but instead i just yelled in, "nite nite, buggie. i love you," and honey bear put her down. now she was out in less than 60 seconds of her head hitting the...she doesn't use a pillow, but you get the idea, so i know without a doubt that she was exhausted. i just feel bad because all i could think about was this (yes, those are my tootsies):
it has been a long day. nothing out of the ordinary, i am just feeling especially worn down. so i am now lounging in my bubble bath thinking about how nice it is to just be danielle for a bit and not mommy. being mommy is so great but just being danielle comes with a lot less demands. so i will rest tonight and wake up ready to be bug's mom 100% in the morning.
until then i give a thumbs up to bedtime! (and blogging in the bathtub even though my husband is none too thrilled about my computer being so close to water)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
to my husband's sister
dear sister in love,
you know that i loved your brother from, literally, the moment i first met him. at that point my heart was his. so when i found out he had a sister i added another sister to the many i already have. you were his and now you were mine, too.
i know that before we moved closer to you we didn't talk that often. i think it was a little she's his sister/she's his wife so we'll be nice kind of relationship. we probably haven't always seen eye to eye, but over this past year i have been able to actually get to know you. so you being my sister because you're my husband's sister has changed to you being my sister because i love you. i have just the greatest time with you when we spend wednesdays and fridays driving our husbands mad with our unending shopping. i never feel pressed for conversation when i'm with you - probably because if i don't have anything to say there is no doubt that you will! i love how much you love my buggie. she is my number one girl and i think you may love her just as much as i do...well, maybe not as much as i do...a special love is formed when you push someone out of your body, but you get my drift. and i thank you for sharing your mom and dad with me. it isn't the easiest thing being so far from my parents and your parents have really filled some of my loneliness for my own. my family, my sisters and my best friends all live so far away - but now i know that i have a dear sweet friend and sister just 5 minutes away.
i know that you are feeling a bit stressed and scared with things that are happening in your life right now. i also know that you know the One who holds all the plans. i don't have the answers or peace our Heavenly Father can give you, but i can offer you an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a hug when you need it. i love you with my whole heart.
me and my big head, buggie, my sister in love
you know that i loved your brother from, literally, the moment i first met him. at that point my heart was his. so when i found out he had a sister i added another sister to the many i already have. you were his and now you were mine, too.
i know that before we moved closer to you we didn't talk that often. i think it was a little she's his sister/she's his wife so we'll be nice kind of relationship. we probably haven't always seen eye to eye, but over this past year i have been able to actually get to know you. so you being my sister because you're my husband's sister has changed to you being my sister because i love you. i have just the greatest time with you when we spend wednesdays and fridays driving our husbands mad with our unending shopping. i never feel pressed for conversation when i'm with you - probably because if i don't have anything to say there is no doubt that you will! i love how much you love my buggie. she is my number one girl and i think you may love her just as much as i do...well, maybe not as much as i do...a special love is formed when you push someone out of your body, but you get my drift. and i thank you for sharing your mom and dad with me. it isn't the easiest thing being so far from my parents and your parents have really filled some of my loneliness for my own. my family, my sisters and my best friends all live so far away - but now i know that i have a dear sweet friend and sister just 5 minutes away.
i know that you are feeling a bit stressed and scared with things that are happening in your life right now. i also know that you know the One who holds all the plans. i don't have the answers or peace our Heavenly Father can give you, but i can offer you an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a hug when you need it. i love you with my whole heart.
me and my big head, buggie, my sister in loveThursday, October 29, 2009
to my vacuum
dear cute red vacuum,
i realize that over the last three years i have oft neglected you leaving you in the hall closet for days, often weeks, on end without so much as a quick run around the living room. i have not forgotten all the great attachments that you have to offer and how lovely you can really make all of my rooms.
you see, it is just that over the past few years it has just been me and honey bear. the carpets could use a go over every now and again, but in my laid back cleaning style it just wasn't necessary to bring you out that often. surely you knew this day would come. the day when we would have a crawling nine month old who is able to spot the tiniest of crumb or paper or outdoor debris and promptly put it in her mouth.
so i am coming to you today, my dear vacuum, asking you to forgive my past neglect and to partner with me in an effort to suck up all of this gunck! perhaps it is you giving me the cold shoulder for visiting you so infrequently, but when i stop by every other day (sometimes every day) to free you from the hall closet and attack the carpets you just aren't performing in the way necessary. the carpets still harbor small bits of...stuff that the baby manages to find and eat.
in my effort to make amends i am willing to fit you with a new filter this afternoon. i hope that you will accept my gift and forgive me for my past grievances. let's work together to keep yuck out of the baby's mouth and to keep my sanity intact.
i do indeed care greatly for you, vacuum. thank you for accepting my letter. from here on out, let's be the best of pals!
sincerely,
bug's mom
i realize that over the last three years i have oft neglected you leaving you in the hall closet for days, often weeks, on end without so much as a quick run around the living room. i have not forgotten all the great attachments that you have to offer and how lovely you can really make all of my rooms.
you see, it is just that over the past few years it has just been me and honey bear. the carpets could use a go over every now and again, but in my laid back cleaning style it just wasn't necessary to bring you out that often. surely you knew this day would come. the day when we would have a crawling nine month old who is able to spot the tiniest of crumb or paper or outdoor debris and promptly put it in her mouth.
so i am coming to you today, my dear vacuum, asking you to forgive my past neglect and to partner with me in an effort to suck up all of this gunck! perhaps it is you giving me the cold shoulder for visiting you so infrequently, but when i stop by every other day (sometimes every day) to free you from the hall closet and attack the carpets you just aren't performing in the way necessary. the carpets still harbor small bits of...stuff that the baby manages to find and eat.
in my effort to make amends i am willing to fit you with a new filter this afternoon. i hope that you will accept my gift and forgive me for my past grievances. let's work together to keep yuck out of the baby's mouth and to keep my sanity intact.
i do indeed care greatly for you, vacuum. thank you for accepting my letter. from here on out, let's be the best of pals!
sincerely,
bug's mom
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
gray hair is a blessing...
sorry i have been gone so long. it has been a busy few days with the death of my uncle and a trip to pennsylvania for the funeral. but i am back home now and trying to get back into the swing of things...ugh, the housework that awaits.
it has come to my attention this weekend that a serious infiltration of evil has made its way into my home and person. my lovely dark locks are being invaded by silver monsters! scary, wiry monsters. why does this gray hair cause me such stress? i am 27 years old. i feel 17. but i suppose the fact of the matter is i am indeed aging. blah!
i do find the silver hair shown here to be quite lovely...on her!
while i would like to grow old gracefully and fully embrace every single gray hair and line in my face, i am finding that a hard feat. i had this wild idea that i would remain 20 forever while the others around me grew older. since this does not seem to be the case i will for now simply enjoy still being in my twenties (if only for...ahem...3 more years) and will be heading out to buy a box of hair color this evening!!! and i will make this my new mantra:
it has come to my attention this weekend that a serious infiltration of evil has made its way into my home and person. my lovely dark locks are being invaded by silver monsters! scary, wiry monsters. why does this gray hair cause me such stress? i am 27 years old. i feel 17. but i suppose the fact of the matter is i am indeed aging. blah!
i do find the silver hair shown here to be quite lovely...on her!
while i would like to grow old gracefully and fully embrace every single gray hair and line in my face, i am finding that a hard feat. i had this wild idea that i would remain 20 forever while the others around me grew older. since this does not seem to be the case i will for now simply enjoy still being in my twenties (if only for...ahem...3 more years) and will be heading out to buy a box of hair color this evening!!! and i will make this my new mantra:
gray hair is a blessing - ask a bald man.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
fever
of the baby kind...as in baby fever. i go through this about every other week. i am so in love with my little bug and she is growing up so fast. i already miss my itty bitty baby. today i want to have another baby, now. i want to be pregnant and wear maternity clothes and pick out crib bedding and read pregnancy books. i want a new little delicious baby to snuggle on and love on and smell and feed and dress. i want bug to have a brother or sister close in age so they can be the best of friends and always have each other.
honey bear and i at 33 weeks - bug decided to arrive 2 weeks later!
so at this moment my loins are desperately yearning to bring forth more fruit. will this notion last until morning? it is hard to tell. sometimes it goes on for days; other times it lasts only minutes. sometimes being mommy gets a bit overwhelming and sleep inducing. oh, but i wouldn't go back to the days without her for anything!!!
i do know that i hope the Lord does see fit to gift us with another little love in the future. i will leave the timing up to Him. i guess if i leave it up to Him it may be inappropriate to tell Him to hurry up, right? =)
how long did you wait to add to your family? should i put a muzzle on my loins or grant them freedom of speech?
our first family picture - the day bug was born
honey bear and i at 33 weeks - bug decided to arrive 2 weeks later!
so at this moment my loins are desperately yearning to bring forth more fruit. will this notion last until morning? it is hard to tell. sometimes it goes on for days; other times it lasts only minutes. sometimes being mommy gets a bit overwhelming and sleep inducing. oh, but i wouldn't go back to the days without her for anything!!!
i do know that i hope the Lord does see fit to gift us with another little love in the future. i will leave the timing up to Him. i guess if i leave it up to Him it may be inappropriate to tell Him to hurry up, right? =)
how long did you wait to add to your family? should i put a muzzle on my loins or grant them freedom of speech?
our first family picture - the day bug was born
Monday, August 3, 2009
how do i look?
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. -Psalm 139:14
so today honey bear and i went to have our pictures taken for our credit card (we have only one credit card used only when necessary but this is another post). i did not know that i was going to have my picture taken so needless to say i was not pleased with this revelation. i often tell honey bear that i feel like a sausage poured into its casing and today was no different. i am sure my hair was quite a mess and by this time in the day my makeup was next to invisible. fine, i'll have my picture taken - i mean, it is for the security of my identity. of course honey bear commented on what a good picture it was and, bless his heart, jeremiah the bank guy agreed in earnest. i was not convinced.
on the way home i started really thinking about my response to my physical appearance. i am always so quick to say how horrible i look or to point out my various physical flaws. no amount of compliments from husband persuades me otherwise. but today i am jarred out of my self loathing by the oh so sweet cooing and babbles of my little bug. she is undoubtedly the most beautiful baby i have ever seen and i am sure she is going to be the most beautiful toddler, preteen, teenager, and woman i will have ever seen. and i am teaching her just how lovely she is inside and out each day...um...negative.
if all my little buggie hears is how her mommy needs to lose weight, needs to apply her makeup differently, needs a new hairstyle, never says thank you to a compliment about her looks what will she think of herself? how can she have a positive view of her own appearance? i am guessing it won't be easy.
and what am i saying to bug about our Creator? that He left us out of the beauty giveaway? that He thinks our appearance is less than beautiful? come to think of it, not only am i saying all of this to bug but i'm saying it to Him. something like, thanks, Father God for all of your many gifts and for making me ugly. it sounds crazy but, in essence, that is exactly what i'm saying.
it is now my goal to replace any negative thought about my appearance with something positive about my appearance. and to remember that i am a work of God and His works are marvelous. let's do this to show our Father we are thankful for these amazing creations we call our bodies, to show ourselves that we are indeed beautiful, and to show our daughters that they too are fearfully and wonderfully made!
on the way home i started really thinking about my response to my physical appearance. i am always so quick to say how horrible i look or to point out my various physical flaws. no amount of compliments from husband persuades me otherwise. but today i am jarred out of my self loathing by the oh so sweet cooing and babbles of my little bug. she is undoubtedly the most beautiful baby i have ever seen and i am sure she is going to be the most beautiful toddler, preteen, teenager, and woman i will have ever seen. and i am teaching her just how lovely she is inside and out each day...um...negative.
if all my little buggie hears is how her mommy needs to lose weight, needs to apply her makeup differently, needs a new hairstyle, never says thank you to a compliment about her looks what will she think of herself? how can she have a positive view of her own appearance? i am guessing it won't be easy.
and what am i saying to bug about our Creator? that He left us out of the beauty giveaway? that He thinks our appearance is less than beautiful? come to think of it, not only am i saying all of this to bug but i'm saying it to Him. something like, thanks, Father God for all of your many gifts and for making me ugly. it sounds crazy but, in essence, that is exactly what i'm saying.
it is now my goal to replace any negative thought about my appearance with something positive about my appearance. and to remember that i am a work of God and His works are marvelous. let's do this to show our Father we are thankful for these amazing creations we call our bodies, to show ourselves that we are indeed beautiful, and to show our daughters that they too are fearfully and wonderfully made!
mommy and her sweet beautiful bug
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