the innocent inappropriate question

it seems like a natural, perfectly legitimate question to ask. i have been asked this question. i suppose i never really knew exactly how to answer it  - probably because the answer was really not the business of the asker. what is the often asked, super inappropriate question? it comes in various forms:

when are you going to start trying for a baby?
are you planning to start a family soon?
isn't it about time to have a baby? 

something happens in the minds of others the moment you say "i do." those two words trigger this when-you-gonna-get-to-baby-makin'-question train. but if you think the asking starts right after the wedding day, wait until you've been married 5 years and still haven't had a baby - you'll need to hire an assistant to field all of the baby questions. and the people asking aren't always the most obvious. you may expect it from mother-in-law or grandma - but the lady that sits a cubicle over from you, your dental hygienist, your 5th cousin twice removed you're meeting for the second time at a family reunion?

isn't the question of our reproductive plans highly personal? isn't it a discussion and decision to be had and made between the potential mommy and daddy? are you really prepared for the answer that may follow your seemingly innocent question?

what if the woman you're trying to make small talk with by asking when she plans to bring forth fruit has suffered numerous miscarriages, or has been trying for several months or even years to have a baby with no success, or has been diagnosed with a medical condition that may make it very difficult or maybe impossible to conceive, or the couple has been on an adoption waiting list for what seems like an eternity with a fallen through adoption and no leads in sight? and what if the couple has no desire for children at all? are you prepared to hear that answer?

what if your inquiry into a couple's baby plans adds more stress and sadness to an already stressful, sad situation? small talk should be reserved to weather, current events, and the cuteness of the other's shoes, not reproductive plans.

i realize people mean well when they ask a woman about her plans to become a mommy. it is such a joyous, exciting, and special decision. the happiness extends far beyond the pregnant couple and their immediate family - most people are tickled to hear of a new little one. however, this is a subject i don't even broach with the dearest of friends (ok, i may have asked one of them, but i did preface it with "i realize this is none of my business.") because i know how sensitive the decision and process of having a baby are.

wouldn't it just be best for us to patiently wait for our friends (or acquaintances) to come to us with the exciting news that they've decided to have a baby or are, in fact, expecting? we won't have to feel like we're prying or chance being faced with an answer we aren't prepared to hear. we will simply be able to celebrate the exciting news...and no one will feel uncomfortable!

apply this to existing mothers when you consider asking if she's "done" or if she'll "keep trying until she gets a boy/girl." just as the decision to start a family is highly personal between husband and wife, the decision to not have any more children is equally as personal with just as many emotions playing into it.

so the next time you're chit chatting with your childless hairdresser or your dearest friend since kindergarten who as of yet has not popped out a youngun, don't go below the belt - it's personal, sensitive, and really none of your business down there.

whatsoever things are...

it has kind of been an unspoken rule since anthony and i started dating that he would not mention when he thinks another woman is attractive - famous or otherwise. i don't know why it has been that way; i guess i may be a bit sensitive to such things. to be honest, i really just think he shouldn't be looking at other women to rate their attractiveness. i mean, hello!

at the same time, however, i don't give two thoughts to saying when i think another man isn't bad to look at. ant even jokes around about it occasionally referring to a certain actor as "your boy." i suppose this just displays the differences in men and women. and while i don't think it is a sin to say, "s/he is attractive," there is a point when it can become sinful - comparing your spouse to another person and/or fantasizing (sexually or not) about someone other than your spouse is sinful.

recently i've heard a few women (women who proclaim Christ as Savior) say they are looking forward to june 29th. channing tatum has a new movie coming out that day. maybe you've heard of it - magic mike. channing tatum is a handsome man. there is nothing wrong with saying that. this new movie, though, goes a bit beyond merely saying he's attractive. magic mike is a movie about male strippers. now, i don't know about you ladies but if my husband told me he was looking forward to seeing a movie about strippers i'd be a tad ticked. there is no need for my husband to see any other woman besides me naked or partially naked. the same is true for us. we have no business looking at any man other than our husbands in various states of undress.

you say, "my husband doesn't mind if i see the movie." well, he should, but even if he doesn't God does.

"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28

that verse works both ways, girls, and it applies to the married and unmarried alike. while it is possible to notice a man's good looks without lusting after him, my guess is that when you watch channing tatum disrobing you won't be thinking, "he is such a handsome man. i bet he is sweet and kind and a great listener. i bet he loves Jesus." 

this flesh is sinful. this flesh wants to see muscle-y men taking their clothes off. this flesh and this world tell us that it is no big deal to go watch a movie about strippers - it's not hurting anyone; i'm not actually having an affair with another man. every single day is a fight against what pleases this flesh and what pleases God. if we feed the flesh we will get nothing but disappointment and heartache in return.

"For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life." Galatians 6:8

if we nurture our relationships with God, it will be oh so much easier to fight the flesh. of course, we will never reach sinlessness on this earth. but it should be our goal. we should strive to live a life pleasing to the One who saved our souls. we will fail, but we should keep trying. we know that there are things in this world that are not pleasing to God. we know that there are things we can do that may seem harmless but that will not be an accurate reflection of the Savior who lives in our hearts. 

what we do for entertainment affects not only our own relationships with God but the relationships others have/will have with God. it may not seem like watching a movie will really affect the salvation of someone else, but we are walking mirrors of the Savior. if we do something contrary to His character, it does affect how unbelievers view Him. when making decisions about books to read, music to listen to, or movies to watch the Lord has given us a great checklist to put everything through:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8

does magic mike make the cut after putting it through that checklist? i see decisions for entertainment i've made that do not pass the above test. i'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who doesn't leave us in our sin but points it out and helps us to not repeat it.

i hope that when you are deciding to see any movie or read any book or listen to any music you will think about a couple of things: 1) is it honoring to my husband if i do this 2) will unbelievers see an accurate reflection of Jesus if i do this and most importantly 3) is it honoring to my God if i do this?

...seek Him continually

it's that time of year when people are setting goals for their weight, their professional lives, their organization or lack thereof...i have never been one to make new year resolutions. i think it just sets me up for disappointment when i don't follow through. this year though i did decide some things for myself.

first i intend to read the Bible through this year. i didn't just want this to be reading for the sake of reading - just reading so i can check the day off. i have tried using a one year Bible before and it doesn't last past 2 days for me. i just don't like the setup - portion from the old testament, portion from the new testament, a few verses from psalms, and a few verses from proverbs. nothing flows. the passages are often cut of in the middle of sentences. the portions in no way "go together." it was reading for the sake of reading. i just came across a Bible in a year breakdown that begins in genesis and goes straight through the Bible to revelation. i am loving it! i use the daily readings as part of my devotional time. i'm excited about reading the Bible straight through. i totally should've done it by now. would i only read a portion of a love letter my husband writes me? um...no! i would read that sucker from beginning to end probably more than once. so why have i not cared enough to read the ultimate love letter from beginning to end???

this next thing is not really a goal but just a change i'm making. since i was a kid i have enjoyed music. honestly, i don't really know of a person that would say they don't like music. i listen to music a lot - in the car, while i'm cleaning, while i'm reading, while i shower and get ready, during playtime with my girls - music is a big part of our lives around here.

i have no personal convictions against music that is not Christian. some will argue it isn't about conviction but there is a black and white rule for what music to listen to. i don't agree - while i believe we should not listen to lyrics that are sexually charged and include profanity or other negative elements there are some good songs out there that aren't sacred. but lately i have realized that i am filling my mind and thoughts with a lot of music about things that don't matter. if i'm spending a large portion of my day listening to music wouldn't i want that music to point me to my Savior?

psalm 105:4 says, "Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!"

there are lots of things that can change and things i can do to be continually seeking His presence. listening to music that praises Him, that reinforces His Word and that points my heart heavenward is a good place to start. and not only for myself. it is my utmost hope and desire that my children will accept the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ; that my children will recognize that all good things are from the Lord; that my children will know Who has made them and sustains them and cares for them faithfully. i want my girls' minds to be filled with Scripture and the truths of the Word. i want them to sing praises to the Maker of the universe and Savior of their souls. listening to music that is about love and music that is just fun is not going to point their little hearts to God. i want them to know that the only reason we are on this earth is to glorify the Father in Heaven. we will read the Bible together and now we will listen to music that does the same.

will i never listen to a song that isn't Christian again? i'm not saying that. if i happen to hear a song on the radio or in a store that i like i won't pretend to not hear it. i don't think these songs are necessarily "wrong." but if i am intentionally listening to music - in my car or home - it will be music that is about our faith. my life is His - i want my song to be His, too!

have you made any goals for this new year?

looks like we made it!

36 weeks.

i am 36 weeks pregnant today.

i have never been 36 weeks pregnant before.

i am just thrilled that we have made it beyond 35 weeks. though i wonder everyday if this is the day we will meet our new sweet girl. the doctor told me in the beginning that because i had my first baby at 35 weeks this baby will probably hang out awhile and every week past 35 will feel like eternity. he was pretty much right.

buggie was born the day before our baby shower. today is the day before baby #2's shower. i'm really hoping to make it to a baby shower pregnant! i told my sweet boy that even if i go into labor tomorrow morning we will be going to the shower first. i'm not missing this one!

as i look back over the past 9 months 2 things are really apparent to me. 1) finding out you're pregnant at 4 weeks makes it feel like you've been pregnant your entire life, and 2) our God is so good to me. He has sustained this precious life inside of me for the past 9 months. He has kept me healthy and able to carry a baby for the second time. He has remained ever faithful to His promises to me. i am beyond taken care of by Him. there is no way to look back at the past 9 months and not see the hand of God in every part of my life. and the real kicker is that at the times when i doubted Him most and worried the most and talked to Him the least those are the times when He was mightily at work. i pray that the Lord will help me impart the truths of His goodness, grace, and faithfulness to my sweet children. my only prayer for their little lives is that they grow up to serve and love the God of all creation.

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS!

so this is nesting

i didn't go through a nesting phase with my first pregnancy. i never actually felt like i made it to a point where i was done being pregnant. buggie came 5 weeks early so i'm guessing that had a lot to do with it.

yesterday i was simply exhausted. i was so tired i was having trouble just standing. i took a 2 hour nap after church and then i went to bed 2 hours earlier than usual last night and slept until 9 this morning. i was pooped! but today has been the complete opposite. i have been going nonstop since i got up.

if i see a pile i must put it away. if i see a counter i must wipe it down - even if i wiped it down 3 times already. laundry must be washed, folded, and put away now. i like a tidy house but i usually prefer that someone else do it. =) today this was not the case. and i haven't felt sleepy. so i started thinking this may be nesting...

that scares me! now i feel like i'm a ticking time bomb and a baby is going to shoot out of me at any minute. oh, if only it were that easy! i've been trying to do some reading about nesting and how soon after labor usually starts. no one really knows is what i've learned. some women give birth weeks after nesting sets in and some women give birth the next day. i'm holding out that i'll be a weeks later woman. we shall see. you might wanna check back tomorrow to see if we have a new little one around here.

is it bedtime yet?

i am so sleepy! i guess it is the body's way of preparing me for middle of the night feedings coming in a few weeks. nighttime sleep is so uncomfortable and often interrupted by potty breaks and daytime sleeping sounds divine but a 20 month old isn't a real fan of an all day nap.

even so, i am really getting excited to meet this little girl. right now i can only picture my sweet buggie girl and what she looks like and what her personality is like. it is hard to imagine another little girl that calls me mama and is completely different. sometimes i get a little sad thinking that my girl will no longer be my only girl. she is my joy and my heart. i wonder if i will be able to have the same affection for another little one. i realize it must be possible because i've seen other moms do it.

i am 35 weeks along. 35 weeks is when buggie decided to make her grand debut. if this little girl comes at the same time i will be mama to two girls on wednesday! i am hoping i can cook this baby a bit longer.

i am going to utilize this quiet time while my girl sleeps to catch a few zzz's myself. honey bear is watching football so it will be a perfect time for me to watch the back of my eyelids!

where does the time go?

my goodness! it has been MONTHS since i've posted here. my last post announced my second pregnancy. i am now 5 weeks away from delivering this little girl! i regret not keeping up with the week to week of this pregnancy like i did with my first. i have been much more relaxed and calm this time around. i have really enjoyed growing this little girl.

31 weeks

overall the pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. she was breech there for a few weeks but has since turned and i am one happy mama about that! i was dreading the impending c-section that accompanies a breech baby. this pregnancy i have decided to use a doula during labor and delivery. my sister in law was a fantastic coach the first time i did this but i can't figure out how to get the baby to come at a time that works around sil's work schedule. i have found a wonderful lady that will be there during my labor and delivery and i really think she will be a good calming support system for all of my crazy! i'm not so great in the hospital setting...

well, from today on i am going to do my best to update daily as we await girl #2's arrival. i am looking forward to getting back into the swing of posting regularly.

i had to buy this book

we are expecting! we definitely were not expecting another little one so soon but we are thrilled.

i used the belly book during my first pregnancy. it is divided by trimester and includes a page for each week and spots for ultrasound pictures and belly pictures. i like to look back at that first one and felt like i needed to do it for this pregnancy as well.

well, my husband is thrilled and i am more nervous. it isn't having a baby that makes me nervous but seeing the doctor. i am a horrible patient. my blood pressure does me no favors and when pregnant it would be nice for my bp to stay within normal ranges. i am trying to remind myself that at the end we will have a sweet new baby and my visits to the doctor will be much fewer.

so i am busy thinking about names and nurseries and trying to calm myself down for dr visits. i will try to update here often with all the happenings. we are excited and eagerly looking forward to october! your prayers are much appreciated!!!

mia

i am alive my dear readers - if there are in fact any readers still coming around here!

i guess i have been in a bit of a blogging slump. and i have been oh so sleepy lately. by the time i have a spare minute to write i would rather close my eyes - and that is what i do. i am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things around here. just so you know, though, if you look to the right you will see a blue and red box of my twitter updates. you can always keep up with me that way if you so desire.

tonight i just wanted to check in and let you all know i have not forgotten you. and if you get a chance maybe you can stop by sweet layla grace's blog. she is a little 2 year old girl battling stage 4 cancer. it looks like she has only days to live but that girl is tough and she has been holding on! we know the One that can do miracles. let's pray for a miracle for layla grace!

resting

our heater has been blowing cold air and running nonstop. as i listen to it run all i can hear is cha-ching. i know how much it is costing for that thing to run and run and run. it isn't worth the money to have it running and to still be freezing. so i turned it off. now i'm really cold but no colder than when it was on. bug is asleep and has possession of the space heater in her room. when she wakes up i am so camping out in front of it!

my face is breaking out like it is 15 years old. while i do wish i was a little closer to 15 than i am i do not wish to have the same skin! actually, i don't think i had this much trouble with my skin when i was 15. i am one big walking zit! it is oh so attractive. my sweet husband says he hasn't even noticed. he has learned well. ha!

my home is a mess. in fact, i should be tackling the living room and kitchen right this moment while my girl rests. i feel like my value as a stay at home mom rests in how sparkly my home is and how delicious my made from scratch dinners are (um, scratch, yeah right). but i spend most of my time at home on the floor playing with blocks, reading books, and snuggling baby dolls and a 13 month old sweetie girl. during that play time i don't feel bad about the unvacuumed floors or the less than shiny kitchen counter. i have worked it out with honey bear for him to take bug out on saturday so i can have full reign of every room without being followed by a curious little one. i have to say i am looking forward to the concentrated cleaning i will be able to accomplish!

bug had an appointment with a neurosurgeon at duke yesterday. we were meeting with him to figure out how to follow up on the discovery of her cyst. the cyst is in the very center of the brain. the doctor feels she has most likely had it since birth and that her head size has nothing to do with it. bug will have another mri in may to see if there has been any growth. if not she will have another mri 6 months from then. if there is still no growth we will not have to do anything else. we will simply know it is there in case any symptoms ever happen to develop. if there is growth we may have to discuss surgery. the neurosurgeon is quite confident this will not be something we have to worry about. it was really nice to be able to talk to someone who has seen this before and has operated on it before. i do feel better.

as for today, i am simply resting in the knowledge that i am a daughter of the King, that i am redeemed, that i am loved despite the great mistakes i have made and the many flaws i carry. and i will probably, no, i will, get some work done around here!

today

nothing witty or earth shaking to report. bug and i had a good day playing and eating and napping and playing and eating. my sweet husband suggested we go out to celebrate valentine's day tonight. we knew we weren't doing it on sunday because with church there just isn't time so today seemed like a good idea. we asked his sister and her husband to keep bug while we went to dinner and they were happy to. bug loves her aunt and uncle! they spent the night listening to yo gabba gabba and wonder pets songs and dancing and laughing and pretending to sleep. we are really fortunate to have those two so close to us!

honey bear and i went out for sushi. mmmm! we don't get to have it that often because it is a little pricey, but it was valentine's day (and we had a coupon!). we had such a nice time together just talking and remembering valentine's day 4 years ago when he asked me to be his wife. and not having to cut up someone else's food was nice, too!

after dinner went to get my girl. picking bug up is always fun. she is always so happy to see us. she smiles so big you can't help but kiss her face. she is the joy of my life. i don't know why God chose me to be her mommy but i'm so glad He did!

now i am just laying on the couch watching a dvr-ed daughtry concert while my sweet boy works on a project. i am going to head to bed to read a bit before going to sleep. i am really a lucky girl - if, of course, i believed in luck. and i don't. the Lord has given me far more than i deserve and i far too often take it all for granted. i have much to praise Him for - and even if i didn't have these earthly things to thank Him for i do have the promise of eternity with Him and that is a pretty good reason to offer praise!

until tomorrow...

toilet cleaner and narcissism

bug and i had been out for the afternoon and we were supposed to meet honey bear and his parents for dinner before heading to church this evening. i had left something at home so bug and i headed back to pick it up. while home i stopped in the bathroom to touch up my makeup and bug played happily on the floor with my keys. the next thing i know i hear my keys plop into the toilet.

i had to stick my hand in the toilet to grab them out as quickly as i could - i have one of those keyless entry fobs and i thought it was without a doubt ruined now. i snatched the keys up and turned around to begin drying them off with the towel on the back of the door.

have you seen the scrubbing bubbles toilet gel thingy? you can put a little disc of toilet cleaning gel inside the toilet bowl and it cleans with each flush? well, i use that. i turn around from drying off my keys to see my darling daughter has scooped up some of the gel and is eating it!!! i grabbed toilet paper and wiped it off of her fingers then i grabbed more toilet paper and stuffed it in her mouth trying to wipe it out. i swooped her up, ran to the fridge where i have a magnet with the number for poison control on it (a magnet i had considered getting rid of because when would i ever really need it?), and ran out to the car to call them (reception inside is h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e). i was sure they would tell me i needed to induce vomiting and run her to the ER. instead the very annoyingly calm operator asks me for the name brand of the cleaner and then takes her time looking it up. she tells me, "oh, she'll be fine. did you wipe her mouth out? does she seem uncomfortable? you've done all you can. there shouldn't be any problems." um, okay, then.

i am trying to figure out what you have to ingest to cause some alarm at poison control, and i am wondering if my toilet cleaner is really accomplishing anything good in my toilet if it is safe for consumption by my 13 month old.

on another note, i am tweeting now. you can catch my tweets on the right sidebar here or you can follow me! i have come to realize that i must be pretty full of myself. like anyone really cares that i am on my way to target! oh, well, i can't help myself, i just love it. honey bear gave me a blackberry as an early valentine gift and i am definitely getting his money's worth out of it. =)

This world has nothing for me

isn't it so easy to get your priorities all out of order? remember these verses:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. matthew 6:19-21

this passage is like a punch right in the stomach to me sometimes. that last part about my heart being where my treasure is - um, i would rather my heart not reside in target. know what i mean? i like to try to rationalize my want of material possessions.

growing up my family didn't have a bunch of money. now, i don't think i ever realized this - i always had clothes and food and i don't remember feeling deprived of anything. but i know that we didn't go on family vacations and money was often sparse. so when i graduated from college and started working as a teacher i thought i was a millionaire (which is funny since teachers are grossly underpaid!). i realized that i could go out to dinner with friends if i wanted to and i didn't need to double check my bank account first. i could buy the cute skirt i just happened upon at target and not have to wait for it to go on sale.

my first year of marriage was much the same. we were both working full time jobs and making a pretty comfortable living. now, though, as a stay at home mommy and a one income family some things are different. we still have more than we need. we still go out often and i still buy cute skirts at target (when there's a sale) but we aren't as comfortable as we would be if we were both working. the monetary sacrifice, however, is definitely worth being able to stay home with my daughter.

the only problem is that i start to think that our worth as a family lies in our bank account. i want people to see us and see how neat and well dressed the three of us are and think that we must be something. i want us to have the latest and greatest whatever because won't we be thought of better? doesn't that make you sick of me?! it makes me sick of myself!!! i am doing exactly what the Lord has told me not to do - i am laying up my treasures in the credit union. if i spent half the time in a day trying to minister grace to other human beings as i spend thinking about what i am going to wear to this event or what i can buy tomorrow or does mine look as good as hers i would be able to make quite an impact for the Kingdom.

when i get to Heaven and stand before God is He going to talk to me about all the fantastic pieces of clothing and jewelry i owned, how well dressed my children were, and how nicely decorated my home was? is He going to care that i had the next and best piece of technology and that i carried it around in an oh so cute pocketbook? i'm going out on a limb here but i'm guessing He doesn't give a flip. He actually says that all of my "stuff" doesn't mean anything about the person i am and that i need to be careful to not try to "keep up with the Joneses:"

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

i am afraid that for women this is often a big stumbling block. we compare ourselves to each other far too much. we want to measure up in our appearance, in our children's appearance, in our home's appearance. it is so easy to get caught up in materialism and covetousness. i am more than ashamed that my heart is wrapped in it. my prayer is that the Lord will remind me that i am on this earth for a reason and that reason isn't shopping or having what "she" has. i am here to glorify my Father in Heaven and to share the good news of His Son to all those i meet. may i use my finances to further the Kingdom by caring for the widows and orphans of the world and not trying to further my status by padding my expendable income. may i be looked at by others and seen as an example of Jesus Christ and not simply as a well dressed, fancy phone using, nice car driving, big house owning woman. i would like to be able to say that if i had not one penny to my name and only sackcloth to wear and a mat to sleep on that i would be just as content in my God. there is a bigger picture here and how nice my dress is or how my house is furnished in the picture doesn't really matter so much.

caedmon's call sings a song called this world. there is a line in the song that sums this all up perfectly: This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/All that I could want and nothing that I need.

may our treasures be in Heaven...

friday and chili's and friends and snow

oh, i just love friday. it means that my sweet husband gets to stay home with us tomorrow. and this saturday it really means we get to stay home together because it is S.N.O.W.I.N.G!!!

tonight i had dinner at one of my favorite places - chili's - with some of my favorite friends from church. we had such a nice time together girl talking and God talking. talking about God's grace and forgiveness and what it looks like to live out what we say we believe never gets old to me. i love talking to all kinds of people but there is nothing as sweet as the conversations had with other believers. heaven is gonna be pretty awesome!

so i guess that is it for tonight. i am going to go settle in with my honey bear to enjoy some quiet snow time together before bug gets up bright and early in the morning! hope you have a cozy weekend!

wordless wednesday - he loves me!

a day late is better than never!

it is 20 minutes to midnight...

and i am at a loss for blog fodder. the only thing on my mind at this moment is my great desire for a big glass of dr. pepper with lots of ice...mmmm....that would really hit the spot.

i tried to guilt honey bear into going out to get some. i am not pregnant so my cravings are not so readily fulfilled. i told him if he loved me he would go out for some dr. pepper. that was about an hour ago and he hasn't left his spot on the couch. i'm pretty sure this just proves he doesn't want to get dressed and go out this late at night and not that his love for me is waning. right? =)

oh, i suppose i will just go to bed. if i'm asleep it would be hard to drink a dr. pepper anyway.

mama said there'd be days like this

whew! i am glad this monday is coming to a close. my day started at 5 am this morning. i was awakened by a bloody murder screaming baby. i don't think i have ever moved that fast in my life. bug has been having some potty issues and 5 am seemed like a good time to go, i suppose. so i quieted and changed her and went back to bed. she woke again at 7:30 quite fussy. she was able to go back to sleep and the next thing i knew i looked at the clock and it was 9:15 - not too bad! though my head was hurting something terrible...

bug has been quite fussy today. she is teething. if there is a toothless spot in her mouth a tooth is trying to come through! and those molars - ugh! i understand her discomfort. but i am beat, and so is she. we just went through our normal bedtime routine - supper, bath, play, story, pray, rock, bed - and i am going to take a bubble bath (yes, my first act of personal hygiene today other than washing my hands). i am in the middle of nicholas sparks's dear john so i think i will take that to the tub with me. goodbye, monday!

there'd be days like this my mama said...i think she told me about this...

thumbs up thursday

i knew when bug turned 12 months old we would transition from formula (no, i didn't breastfeed...)to milk; i just didn't know how to transition. so at her 12 month well check we discussed milk with the pediatrician. the doctor told us to go ahead and stop the formula and give bug milk. ideally she should get 12-16 ounces of milk per day.

since we were getting rid of the formula i decided it was a good time to just go ahead and pack away the bottles, too. bug was using a sippy cup at least once a day anyway so i was hoping for a smooth switch - and it really was! i don't think she even notices that the bottles are gone. however, bug didn't drink nearly as much, not even the necessary 12 ounces, without much coaxing.

one evening while we were having dinner out we discovered that our girl likes to drink from a straw. and the light went on - sippy cups with straws! ever since switching from the regular sippy to the straw sippy we have had no problems at all getting bug to drink her milk. this mama is glad to have one less thing to stress over. =)

i know, straw sippies are not a new invention. but they are new to us! and we give them a big thumbs up!

wordless wednesday - my heart at 2 days old

and the results are in

the pediatrician called early this evening. bug's mri results were back. we are praising our Father that it was not a tumor. this had been my biggest fear and we are so thankful that cancer is not something we are facing.

the spot that was seen, though, is an arachnoid cyst. i am just learning about this myself so i will spare you my little knowledge. all i know for sure right now is that the doctor told us we can now breathe a sigh of relief. this cyst is not fatal. it can grow and cause some problems so it is necessary for us to meet with a neurosurgeon at duke. our pediatrician did already consult with the neurosurgeon and was told that right now with the present size of the cyst surgery does not appear necessary. after our appointment with the neurosurgeon i am hoping to have a clearer understanding of the cyst. so far in my googling this article from the children's hospital boston has been the clearest and most comforting.

God did answer so many of our prayers for our girl so i feel bad that i am not completely relieved. i would much prefer it to be nothing than to be the not so bad diagnosis. i find myself asking God why this is necessary. i want to understand. and yet i realize that i may never understand why God does some of the things He does. my trust and faith continues to be challenged. i hope to come out of this stronger in faith and closer to my God.

we do still covet your prayers on bug's behalf. please pray that the consult with the neurosurgeon will go well and will bring some clarity and pray that the cyst remains small in size and possibly even goes away all together. thank you for your prayers as we awaited the mri results - they were not in vain!