anxious

my little bug was born early at 35 weeks (little stinker!). however, she was very fortunate and the worst problem she had was some pretty pesky jaundice. now at a year old she is right on developmental track with full term babies the same age. the Lord has really blessed us and our sweet girl.

this past friday we went in for bug's 12 month well check. all was looking happy and healthy except her little...or, ahem...not so little head. this month her head measurements spiked since her last visit at 9 months. i haven't really been sharing with too many people - something about keeping to ourselves makes it feel like it isn't real - but bug will go in tomorrow morning for a CAT scan to check out her skull and to make sure there are no blockages causing a build up of fluid. if you know me you know i am a worry wort! so since friday my stomach has been in knots.

i have been talking to God every moment i get asking for a clean report, asking why He has allowed this if we are just going to get a clean report...and then i feel pretty self absorbed. there are parents out there facing some pretty serious stuff with their children. kate mcrae has been constantly on my mind. kate is a 6 year old little girl battling a brain tumor. her family needs all the prayer they can get, and here i am making myself sick over a test that will most likely prove my daughter is just fine.

i guess i just want to ask for your prayers on bug's behalf. she will most likely be sedated so we are hoping there are no side effects. and we are, of course, praying that the scan will prove my sweet girl's head is just fine.

here's hoping the poor girl has simply inherited her mama's big head (i had the same issue as a baby, though knowing this doesn't make my worry any less)! trying to trust in the One who writes all of our days - He has always proven Himself faithful and there is no reason for me to think He won't do so again. His plan is always best even if it doesn't feel good.