This world has nothing for me

isn't it so easy to get your priorities all out of order? remember these verses:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. matthew 6:19-21

this passage is like a punch right in the stomach to me sometimes. that last part about my heart being where my treasure is - um, i would rather my heart not reside in target. know what i mean? i like to try to rationalize my want of material possessions.

growing up my family didn't have a bunch of money. now, i don't think i ever realized this - i always had clothes and food and i don't remember feeling deprived of anything. but i know that we didn't go on family vacations and money was often sparse. so when i graduated from college and started working as a teacher i thought i was a millionaire (which is funny since teachers are grossly underpaid!). i realized that i could go out to dinner with friends if i wanted to and i didn't need to double check my bank account first. i could buy the cute skirt i just happened upon at target and not have to wait for it to go on sale.

my first year of marriage was much the same. we were both working full time jobs and making a pretty comfortable living. now, though, as a stay at home mommy and a one income family some things are different. we still have more than we need. we still go out often and i still buy cute skirts at target (when there's a sale) but we aren't as comfortable as we would be if we were both working. the monetary sacrifice, however, is definitely worth being able to stay home with my daughter.

the only problem is that i start to think that our worth as a family lies in our bank account. i want people to see us and see how neat and well dressed the three of us are and think that we must be something. i want us to have the latest and greatest whatever because won't we be thought of better? doesn't that make you sick of me?! it makes me sick of myself!!! i am doing exactly what the Lord has told me not to do - i am laying up my treasures in the credit union. if i spent half the time in a day trying to minister grace to other human beings as i spend thinking about what i am going to wear to this event or what i can buy tomorrow or does mine look as good as hers i would be able to make quite an impact for the Kingdom.

when i get to Heaven and stand before God is He going to talk to me about all the fantastic pieces of clothing and jewelry i owned, how well dressed my children were, and how nicely decorated my home was? is He going to care that i had the next and best piece of technology and that i carried it around in an oh so cute pocketbook? i'm going out on a limb here but i'm guessing He doesn't give a flip. He actually says that all of my "stuff" doesn't mean anything about the person i am and that i need to be careful to not try to "keep up with the Joneses:"

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

i am afraid that for women this is often a big stumbling block. we compare ourselves to each other far too much. we want to measure up in our appearance, in our children's appearance, in our home's appearance. it is so easy to get caught up in materialism and covetousness. i am more than ashamed that my heart is wrapped in it. my prayer is that the Lord will remind me that i am on this earth for a reason and that reason isn't shopping or having what "she" has. i am here to glorify my Father in Heaven and to share the good news of His Son to all those i meet. may i use my finances to further the Kingdom by caring for the widows and orphans of the world and not trying to further my status by padding my expendable income. may i be looked at by others and seen as an example of Jesus Christ and not simply as a well dressed, fancy phone using, nice car driving, big house owning woman. i would like to be able to say that if i had not one penny to my name and only sackcloth to wear and a mat to sleep on that i would be just as content in my God. there is a bigger picture here and how nice my dress is or how my house is furnished in the picture doesn't really matter so much.

caedmon's call sings a song called this world. there is a line in the song that sums this all up perfectly: This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/All that I could want and nothing that I need.

may our treasures be in Heaven...