resting

our heater has been blowing cold air and running nonstop. as i listen to it run all i can hear is cha-ching. i know how much it is costing for that thing to run and run and run. it isn't worth the money to have it running and to still be freezing. so i turned it off. now i'm really cold but no colder than when it was on. bug is asleep and has possession of the space heater in her room. when she wakes up i am so camping out in front of it!

my face is breaking out like it is 15 years old. while i do wish i was a little closer to 15 than i am i do not wish to have the same skin! actually, i don't think i had this much trouble with my skin when i was 15. i am one big walking zit! it is oh so attractive. my sweet husband says he hasn't even noticed. he has learned well. ha!

my home is a mess. in fact, i should be tackling the living room and kitchen right this moment while my girl rests. i feel like my value as a stay at home mom rests in how sparkly my home is and how delicious my made from scratch dinners are (um, scratch, yeah right). but i spend most of my time at home on the floor playing with blocks, reading books, and snuggling baby dolls and a 13 month old sweetie girl. during that play time i don't feel bad about the unvacuumed floors or the less than shiny kitchen counter. i have worked it out with honey bear for him to take bug out on saturday so i can have full reign of every room without being followed by a curious little one. i have to say i am looking forward to the concentrated cleaning i will be able to accomplish!

bug had an appointment with a neurosurgeon at duke yesterday. we were meeting with him to figure out how to follow up on the discovery of her cyst. the cyst is in the very center of the brain. the doctor feels she has most likely had it since birth and that her head size has nothing to do with it. bug will have another mri in may to see if there has been any growth. if not she will have another mri 6 months from then. if there is still no growth we will not have to do anything else. we will simply know it is there in case any symptoms ever happen to develop. if there is growth we may have to discuss surgery. the neurosurgeon is quite confident this will not be something we have to worry about. it was really nice to be able to talk to someone who has seen this before and has operated on it before. i do feel better.

as for today, i am simply resting in the knowledge that i am a daughter of the King, that i am redeemed, that i am loved despite the great mistakes i have made and the many flaws i carry. and i will probably, no, i will, get some work done around here!