as i have been preparing myself for tomorrow the enemy has definitely been at work around here. i have been bombarded with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. why do i think that any pleading i do to the Lord will have any affect on little kate's life? there are hundreds of others that will be fasting and praying for kate - many who are most likely farther in their christian walk than i. surely their prayers will be regarded higher than mine. and why would the God of the universe give a flip about what i have to say? my tears at His feet can easily be dismissed.
but then i remember what He has promised:
whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. john 14:13-14
the verse doesn't say, "whatever a very important person asks," it says, "whatever YOU ask." that YOU means ME! so there is no misunderstanding, this verse says that He will do whatever i ask, but there are times when what i ask for is not what i get or what happens. has Jesus lied? no, of course not. when we ask for something we must do so in faith, believing God can do it, and we must pray with realization that God will answer according to His will. there are times when our wills are not His will for a particular situation. that should absolutely not stop me from praying for a certain outcome!
now i am reminded that Jesus tells me to ask, but i still don't feel worthy to go before Him with such an important petition. sure, i have gone before Him with prayers for car repairs or financial needs, but this will be my first serious pleading for a life. i have prayed for healing on behalf of others, but i have to be honest, this fast for kate is the first i have ever done. this little girl's life is weighing so heavy on my heart...i feel the need to do all i can. but i feel as though God is saying, "who do you think you are?" then i go to hebrews 4:16:
let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
i should go before the King with confidence! i am told by the author of hebrews to do just that. be confident. i do not have to be mother teresa to be heard by God. i have to be just who i am, a daughter of the King. going before the King with confidence takes me back to that sweet jewish girl, hadassah, who you may know as queen esther. she went before the king on behalf of her people and he listened to her and showed them mercy. how much more King Jesus loves me than this earthly king loved esther. He will surely hear my cries on behalf of kate.
so tomorrow i will humble myself before the ever great Physician and pray with a broken but believing heart for Him to heal kate. He tells me to do just that. and so i will obey. and i will submit to whatever His will is for kate, knowing that His ways are not my ways and that His way is ALWAYS best.
please consider carrying kate before the Lord in fasting and prayer this week.
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