Dates Diapers & Deity

...seek Him continually

2011-01-07T15:22:00.003-05:00

it's that time of year when people are setting goals for their weight, their professional lives, their organization or lack thereof...i have never been one to make new year resolutions. i think it just sets me up for disappointment when i don't follow through. this year though i did decide some things for myself.

first i intend to read the Bible through this year. i didn't just want this to be reading for the sake of reading - just reading so i can check the day off. i have tried using a one year Bible before and it doesn't last past 2 days for me. i just don't like the setup - portion from the old testament, portion from the new testament, a few verses from psalms, and a few verses from proverbs. nothing flows. the passages are often cut of in the middle of sentences. the portions in no way "go together." it was reading for the sake of reading. i just came across a Bible in a year breakdown that begins in genesis and goes straight through the Bible to revelation. i am loving it! i use the daily readings as part of my devotional time. i'm excited about reading the Bible straight through. i totally should've done it by now. would i only read a portion of a love letter my husband writes me? um...no! i would read that sucker from beginning to end probably more than once. so why have i not cared enough to read the ultimate love letter from beginning to end???

this next thing is not really a goal but just a change i'm making. since i was a kid i have enjoyed music. honestly, i don't really know of a person that would say they don't like music. i listen to music a lot - in the car, while i'm cleaning, while i'm reading, while i shower and get ready, during playtime with my girls - music is a big part of our lives around here.

i have no personal convictions against music that is not Christian. some will argue it isn't about conviction but there is a black and white rule for what music to listen to. i don't agree - while i believe we should not listen to lyrics that are sexually charged and include profanity or other negative elements there are some good songs out there that aren't sacred. but lately i have realized that i am filling my mind and thoughts with a lot of music about things that don't matter. if i'm spending a large portion of my day listening to music wouldn't i want that music to point me to my Savior?

psalm 105:4 says, "Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!"

there are lots of things that can change and things i can do to be continually seeking His presence. listening to music that praises Him, that reinforces His Word and that points my heart heavenward is a good place to start. and not only for myself. it is my utmost hope and desire that my children will accept the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ; that my children will recognize that all good things are from the Lord; that my children will know Who has made them and sustains them and cares for them faithfully. i want my girls' minds to be filled with Scripture and the truths of the Word. i want them to sing praises to the Maker of the universe and Savior of their souls. listening to music that is about love and music that is just fun is not going to point their little hearts to God. i want them to know that the only reason we are on this earth is to glorify the Father in Heaven. we will read the Bible together and now we will listen to music that does the same.

will i never listen to a song that isn't Christian again? i'm not saying that. if i happen to hear a song on the radio or in a store that i like i won't pretend to not hear it. i don't think these songs are necessarily "wrong." but if i am intentionally listening to music - in my car or home - it will be music that is about our faith. my life is His - i want my song to be His, too!

have you made any goals for this new year?

looks like we made it!

2010-09-24T13:54:00.003-04:00

36 weeks.

i am 36 weeks pregnant today.

i have never been 36 weeks pregnant before.

i am just thrilled that we have made it beyond 35 weeks. though i wonder everyday if this is the day we will meet our new sweet girl. the doctor told me in the beginning that because i had my first baby at 35 weeks this baby will probably hang out awhile and every week past 35 will feel like eternity. he was pretty much right.

buggie was born the day before our baby shower. today is the day before baby #2's shower. i'm really hoping to make it to a baby shower pregnant! i told my sweet boy that even if i go into labor tomorrow morning we will be going to the shower first. i'm not missing this one!

as i look back over the past 9 months 2 things are really apparent to me. 1) finding out you're pregnant at 4 weeks makes it feel like you've been pregnant your entire life, and 2) our God is so good to me. He has sustained this precious life inside of me for the past 9 months. He has kept me healthy and able to carry a baby for the second time. He has remained ever faithful to His promises to me. i am beyond taken care of by Him. there is no way to look back at the past 9 months and not see the hand of God in every part of my life. and the real kicker is that at the times when i doubted Him most and worried the most and talked to Him the least those are the times when He was mightily at work. i pray that the Lord will help me impart the truths of His goodness, grace, and faithfulness to my sweet children. my only prayer for their little lives is that they grow up to serve and love the God of all creation.

GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS!

so this is nesting

2010-09-20T23:01:00.002-04:00

i didn't go through a nesting phase with my first pregnancy. i never actually felt like i made it to a point where i was done being pregnant. buggie came 5 weeks early so i'm guessing that had a lot to do with it.

yesterday i was simply exhausted. i was so tired i was having trouble just standing. i took a 2 hour nap after church and then i went to bed 2 hours earlier than usual last night and slept until 9 this morning. i was pooped! but today has been the complete opposite. i have been going nonstop since i got up.

if i see a pile i must put it away. if i see a counter i must wipe it down - even if i wiped it down 3 times already. laundry must be washed, folded, and put away now. i like a tidy house but i usually prefer that someone else do it. =) today this was not the case. and i haven't felt sleepy. so i started thinking this may be nesting...

that scares me! now i feel like i'm a ticking time bomb and a baby is going to shoot out of me at any minute. oh, if only it were that easy! i've been trying to do some reading about nesting and how soon after labor usually starts. no one really knows is what i've learned. some women give birth weeks after nesting sets in and some women give birth the next day. i'm holding out that i'll be a weeks later woman. we shall see. you might wanna check back tomorrow to see if we have a new little one around here.

is it bedtime yet?

2010-09-18T13:52:00.003-04:00

i am so sleepy! i guess it is the body's way of preparing me for middle of the night feedings coming in a few weeks. nighttime sleep is so uncomfortable and often interrupted by potty breaks and daytime sleeping sounds divine but a 20 month old isn't a real fan of an all day nap.

even so, i am really getting excited to meet this little girl. right now i can only picture my sweet buggie girl and what she looks like and what her personality is like. it is hard to imagine another little girl that calls me mama and is completely different. sometimes i get a little sad thinking that my girl will no longer be my only girl. she is my joy and my heart. i wonder if i will be able to have the same affection for another little one. i realize it must be possible because i've seen other moms do it.

i am 35 weeks along. 35 weeks is when buggie decided to make her grand debut. if this little girl comes at the same time i will be mama to two girls on wednesday! i am hoping i can cook this baby a bit longer.

i am going to utilize this quiet time while my girl sleeps to catch a few zzz's myself. honey bear is watching football so it will be a perfect time for me to watch the back of my eyelids!

where does the time go?

2010-09-17T10:50:00.004-04:00

my goodness! it has been MONTHS since i've posted here. my last post announced my second pregnancy. i am now 5 weeks away from delivering this little girl! i regret not keeping up with the week to week of this pregnancy like i did with my first. i have been much more relaxed and calm this time around. i have really enjoyed growing this little girl.

31 weeks

overall the pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. she was breech there for a few weeks but has since turned and i am one happy mama about that! i was dreading the impending c-section that accompanies a breech baby. this pregnancy i have decided to use a doula during labor and delivery. my sister in law was a fantastic coach the first time i did this but i can't figure out how to get the baby to come at a time that works around sil's work schedule. i have found a wonderful lady that will be there during my labor and delivery and i really think she will be a good calming support system for all of my crazy! i'm not so great in the hospital setting...

well, from today on i am going to do my best to update daily as we await girl #2's arrival. i am looking forward to getting back into the swing of posting regularly.

i had to buy this book

2010-03-06T21:59:00.005-05:00

we are expecting! we definitely were not expecting another little one so soon but we are thrilled.

i used the belly book during my first pregnancy. it is divided by trimester and includes a page for each week and spots for ultrasound pictures and belly pictures. i like to look back at that first one and felt like i needed to do it for this pregnancy as well.

well, my husband is thrilled and i am more nervous. it isn't having a baby that makes me nervous but seeing the doctor. i am a horrible patient. my blood pressure does me no favors and when pregnant it would be nice for my bp to stay within normal ranges. i am trying to remind myself that at the end we will have a sweet new baby and my visits to the doctor will be much fewer.

so i am busy thinking about names and nurseries and trying to calm myself down for dr visits. i will try to update here often with all the happenings. we are excited and eagerly looking forward to october! your prayers are much appreciated!!!

mia

2010-03-02T20:18:00.004-05:00

i am alive my dear readers - if there are in fact any readers still coming around here!

i guess i have been in a bit of a blogging slump. and i have been oh so sleepy lately. by the time i have a spare minute to write i would rather close my eyes - and that is what i do. i am looking forward to getting back into the swing of things around here. just so you know, though, if you look to the right you will see a blue and red box of my twitter updates. you can always keep up with me that way if you so desire.

tonight i just wanted to check in and let you all know i have not forgotten you. and if you get a chance maybe you can stop by sweet layla grace's blog. she is a little 2 year old girl battling stage 4 cancer. it looks like she has only days to live but that girl is tough and she has been holding on! we know the One that can do miracles. let's pray for a miracle for layla grace!

resting

2010-02-11T11:52:00.003-05:00

our heater has been blowing cold air and running nonstop. as i listen to it run all i can hear is cha-ching. i know how much it is costing for that thing to run and run and run. it isn't worth the money to have it running and to still be freezing. so i turned it off. now i'm really cold but no colder than when it was on. bug is asleep and has possession of the space heater in her room. when she wakes up i am so camping out in front of it!

my face is breaking out like it is 15 years old. while i do wish i was a little closer to 15 than i am i do not wish to have the same skin! actually, i don't think i had this much trouble with my skin when i was 15. i am one big walking zit! it is oh so attractive. my sweet husband says he hasn't even noticed. he has learned well. ha!

my home is a mess. in fact, i should be tackling the living room and kitchen right this moment while my girl rests. i feel like my value as a stay at home mom rests in how sparkly my home is and how delicious my made from scratch dinners are (um, scratch, yeah right). but i spend most of my time at home on the floor playing with blocks, reading books, and snuggling baby dolls and a 13 month old sweetie girl. during that play time i don't feel bad about the unvacuumed floors or the less than shiny kitchen counter. i have worked it out with honey bear for him to take bug out on saturday so i can have full reign of every room without being followed by a curious little one. i have to say i am looking forward to the concentrated cleaning i will be able to accomplish!

bug had an appointment with a neurosurgeon at duke yesterday. we were meeting with him to figure out how to follow up on the discovery of her cyst. the cyst is in the very center of the brain. the doctor feels she has most likely had it since birth and that her head size has nothing to do with it. bug will have another mri in may to see if there has been any growth. if not she will have another mri 6 months from then. if there is still no growth we will not have to do anything else. we will simply know it is there in case any symptoms ever happen to develop. if there is growth we may have to discuss surgery. the neurosurgeon is quite confident this will not be something we have to worry about. it was really nice to be able to talk to someone who has seen this before and has operated on it before. i do feel better.

as for today, i am simply resting in the knowledge that i am a daughter of the King, that i am redeemed, that i am loved despite the great mistakes i have made and the many flaws i carry. and i will probably, no, i will, get some work done around here!

today

2010-02-08T23:03:00.002-05:00

nothing witty or earth shaking to report. bug and i had a good day playing and eating and napping and playing and eating. my sweet husband suggested we go out to celebrate valentine's day tonight. we knew we weren't doing it on sunday because with church there just isn't time so today seemed like a good idea. we asked his sister and her husband to keep bug while we went to dinner and they were happy to. bug loves her aunt and uncle! they spent the night listening to yo gabba gabba and wonder pets songs and dancing and laughing and pretending to sleep. we are really fortunate to have those two so close to us!

honey bear and i went out for sushi. mmmm! we don't get to have it that often because it is a little pricey, but it was valentine's day (and we had a coupon!). we had such a nice time together just talking and remembering valentine's day 4 years ago when he asked me to be his wife. and not having to cut up someone else's food was nice, too!

after dinner went to get my girl. picking bug up is always fun. she is always so happy to see us. she smiles so big you can't help but kiss her face. she is the joy of my life. i don't know why God chose me to be her mommy but i'm so glad He did!

now i am just laying on the couch watching a dvr-ed daughtry concert while my sweet boy works on a project. i am going to head to bed to read a bit before going to sleep. i am really a lucky girl - if, of course, i believed in luck. and i don't. the Lord has given me far more than i deserve and i far too often take it all for granted. i have much to praise Him for - and even if i didn't have these earthly things to thank Him for i do have the promise of eternity with Him and that is a pretty good reason to offer praise!

until tomorrow...

toilet cleaner and narcissism

2010-02-03T23:35:00.003-05:00

bug and i had been out for the afternoon and we were supposed to meet honey bear and his parents for dinner before heading to church this evening. i had left something at home so bug and i headed back to pick it up. while home i stopped in the bathroom to touch up my makeup and bug played happily on the floor with my keys. the next thing i know i hear my keys plop into the toilet.

i had to stick my hand in the toilet to grab them out as quickly as i could - i have one of those keyless entry fobs and i thought it was without a doubt ruined now. i snatched the keys up and turned around to begin drying them off with the towel on the back of the door.

have you seen the scrubbing bubbles toilet gel thingy? you can put a little disc of toilet cleaning gel inside the toilet bowl and it cleans with each flush? well, i use that. i turn around from drying off my keys to see my darling daughter has scooped up some of the gel and is eating it!!! i grabbed toilet paper and wiped it off of her fingers then i grabbed more toilet paper and stuffed it in her mouth trying to wipe it out. i swooped her up, ran to the fridge where i have a magnet with the number for poison control on it (a magnet i had considered getting rid of because when would i ever really need it?), and ran out to the car to call them (reception inside is h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e). i was sure they would tell me i needed to induce vomiting and run her to the ER. instead the very annoyingly calm operator asks me for the name brand of the cleaner and then takes her time looking it up. she tells me, "oh, she'll be fine. did you wipe her mouth out? does she seem uncomfortable? you've done all you can. there shouldn't be any problems." um, okay, then.

i am trying to figure out what you have to ingest to cause some alarm at poison control, and i am wondering if my toilet cleaner is really accomplishing anything good in my toilet if it is safe for consumption by my 13 month old.

on another note, i am tweeting now. you can catch my tweets on the right sidebar here or you can follow me! i have come to realize that i must be pretty full of myself. like anyone really cares that i am on my way to target! oh, well, i can't help myself, i just love it. honey bear gave me a blackberry as an early valentine gift and i am definitely getting his money's worth out of it. =)

This world has nothing for me

2010-02-02T23:25:00.004-05:00

isn't it so easy to get your priorities all out of order? remember these verses:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. matthew 6:19-21

this passage is like a punch right in the stomach to me sometimes. that last part about my heart being where my treasure is - um, i would rather my heart not reside in target. know what i mean? i like to try to rationalize my want of material possessions.

growing up my family didn't have a bunch of money. now, i don't think i ever realized this - i always had clothes and food and i don't remember feeling deprived of anything. but i know that we didn't go on family vacations and money was often sparse. so when i graduated from college and started working as a teacher i thought i was a millionaire (which is funny since teachers are grossly underpaid!). i realized that i could go out to dinner with friends if i wanted to and i didn't need to double check my bank account first. i could buy the cute skirt i just happened upon at target and not have to wait for it to go on sale.

my first year of marriage was much the same. we were both working full time jobs and making a pretty comfortable living. now, though, as a stay at home mommy and a one income family some things are different. we still have more than we need. we still go out often and i still buy cute skirts at target (when there's a sale) but we aren't as comfortable as we would be if we were both working. the monetary sacrifice, however, is definitely worth being able to stay home with my daughter.

the only problem is that i start to think that our worth as a family lies in our bank account. i want people to see us and see how neat and well dressed the three of us are and think that we must be something. i want us to have the latest and greatest whatever because won't we be thought of better? doesn't that make you sick of me?! it makes me sick of myself!!! i am doing exactly what the Lord has told me not to do - i am laying up my treasures in the credit union. if i spent half the time in a day trying to minister grace to other human beings as i spend thinking about what i am going to wear to this event or what i can buy tomorrow or does mine look as good as hers i would be able to make quite an impact for the Kingdom.

when i get to Heaven and stand before God is He going to talk to me about all the fantastic pieces of clothing and jewelry i owned, how well dressed my children were, and how nicely decorated my home was? is He going to care that i had the next and best piece of technology and that i carried it around in an oh so cute pocketbook? i'm going out on a limb here but i'm guessing He doesn't give a flip. He actually says that all of my "stuff" doesn't mean anything about the person i am and that i need to be careful to not try to "keep up with the Joneses:"

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

i am afraid that for women this is often a big stumbling block. we compare ourselves to each other far too much. we want to measure up in our appearance, in our children's appearance, in our home's appearance. it is so easy to get caught up in materialism and covetousness. i am more than ashamed that my heart is wrapped in it. my prayer is that the Lord will remind me that i am on this earth for a reason and that reason isn't shopping or having what "she" has. i am here to glorify my Father in Heaven and to share the good news of His Son to all those i meet. may i use my finances to further the Kingdom by caring for the widows and orphans of the world and not trying to further my status by padding my expendable income. may i be looked at by others and seen as an example of Jesus Christ and not simply as a well dressed, fancy phone using, nice car driving, big house owning woman. i would like to be able to say that if i had not one penny to my name and only sackcloth to wear and a mat to sleep on that i would be just as content in my God. there is a bigger picture here and how nice my dress is or how my house is furnished in the picture doesn't really matter so much.

caedmon's call sings a song called this world. there is a line in the song that sums this all up perfectly: This world has nothing for me and this world has everything/All that I could want and nothing that I need.

may our treasures be in Heaven...

friday and chili's and friends and snow

2010-01-29T21:12:00.002-05:00

oh, i just love friday. it means that my sweet husband gets to stay home with us tomorrow. and this saturday it really means we get to stay home together because it is S.N.O.W.I.N.G!!!

tonight i had dinner at one of my favorite places - chili's - with some of my favorite friends from church. we had such a nice time together girl talking and God talking. talking about God's grace and forgiveness and what it looks like to live out what we say we believe never gets old to me. i love talking to all kinds of people but there is nothing as sweet as the conversations had with other believers. heaven is gonna be pretty awesome!

so i guess that is it for tonight. i am going to go settle in with my honey bear to enjoy some quiet snow time together before bug gets up bright and early in the morning! hope you have a cozy weekend!

wordless wednesday - he loves me!

2010-01-27T21:34:00.002-05:00

a day late is better than never!

it is 20 minutes to midnight...

2010-01-26T23:42:00.002-05:00

and i am at a loss for blog fodder. the only thing on my mind at this moment is my great desire for a big glass of dr. pepper with lots of ice...mmmm....that would really hit the spot.

i tried to guilt honey bear into going out to get some. i am not pregnant so my cravings are not so readily fulfilled. i told him if he loved me he would go out for some dr. pepper. that was about an hour ago and he hasn't left his spot on the couch. i'm pretty sure this just proves he doesn't want to get dressed and go out this late at night and not that his love for me is waning. right? =)

oh, i suppose i will just go to bed. if i'm asleep it would be hard to drink a dr. pepper anyway.

mama said there'd be days like this

2010-01-25T19:53:00.003-05:00

whew! i am glad this monday is coming to a close. my day started at 5 am this morning. i was awakened by a bloody murder screaming baby. i don't think i have ever moved that fast in my life. bug has been having some potty issues and 5 am seemed like a good time to go, i suppose. so i quieted and changed her and went back to bed. she woke again at 7:30 quite fussy. she was able to go back to sleep and the next thing i knew i looked at the clock and it was 9:15 - not too bad! though my head was hurting something terrible...

bug has been quite fussy today. she is teething. if there is a toothless spot in her mouth a tooth is trying to come through! and those molars - ugh! i understand her discomfort. but i am beat, and so is she. we just went through our normal bedtime routine - supper, bath, play, story, pray, rock, bed - and i am going to take a bubble bath (yes, my first act of personal hygiene today other than washing my hands). i am in the middle of nicholas sparks's dear john so i think i will take that to the tub with me. goodbye, monday!

there'd be days like this my mama said...i think she told me about this...

thumbs up thursday

2010-01-21T21:48:00.002-05:00

i knew when bug turned 12 months old we would transition from formula (no, i didn't breastfeed...)to milk; i just didn't know how to transition. so at her 12 month well check we discussed milk with the pediatrician. the doctor told us to go ahead and stop the formula and give bug milk. ideally she should get 12-16 ounces of milk per day.

since we were getting rid of the formula i decided it was a good time to just go ahead and pack away the bottles, too. bug was using a sippy cup at least once a day anyway so i was hoping for a smooth switch - and it really was! i don't think she even notices that the bottles are gone. however, bug didn't drink nearly as much, not even the necessary 12 ounces, without much coaxing.

one evening while we were having dinner out we discovered that our girl likes to drink from a straw. and the light went on - sippy cups with straws! ever since switching from the regular sippy to the straw sippy we have had no problems at all getting bug to drink her milk. this mama is glad to have one less thing to stress over. =)

i know, straw sippies are not a new invention. but they are new to us! and we give them a big thumbs up!

wordless wednesday - my heart at 2 days old

2010-01-20T23:00:00.003-05:00

and the results are in

2010-01-18T21:55:00.002-05:00

the pediatrician called early this evening. bug's mri results were back. we are praising our Father that it was not a tumor. this had been my biggest fear and we are so thankful that cancer is not something we are facing.

the spot that was seen, though, is an arachnoid cyst. i am just learning about this myself so i will spare you my little knowledge. all i know for sure right now is that the doctor told us we can now breathe a sigh of relief. this cyst is not fatal. it can grow and cause some problems so it is necessary for us to meet with a neurosurgeon at duke. our pediatrician did already consult with the neurosurgeon and was told that right now with the present size of the cyst surgery does not appear necessary. after our appointment with the neurosurgeon i am hoping to have a clearer understanding of the cyst. so far in my googling this article from the children's hospital boston has been the clearest and most comforting.

God did answer so many of our prayers for our girl so i feel bad that i am not completely relieved. i would much prefer it to be nothing than to be the not so bad diagnosis. i find myself asking God why this is necessary. i want to understand. and yet i realize that i may never understand why God does some of the things He does. my trust and faith continues to be challenged. i hope to come out of this stronger in faith and closer to my God.

we do still covet your prayers on bug's behalf. please pray that the consult with the neurosurgeon will go well and will bring some clarity and pray that the cyst remains small in size and possibly even goes away all together. thank you for your prayers as we awaited the mri results - they were not in vain!

birthday preview

2010-01-14T14:32:00.011-05:00

UPDATE:
here is a facebook link to look at the pictures from the party. you don't have to have a facebook account to see the pictures.

and check out some other DIY projects at kimba's blog!

bug's birthday party is saturday! i looked and looked for first birthday decorations that i liked but never found anything. so i decided to take matters into my own hands. here are a couple pictures of what is done so far. i will, of course, take plenty of pictures at the party and post them. this is just a little taste!

excuse the clutter!

i borrowed the tissue paper ball idea from kelly.

just a little reminder, bug will have an mri tomorrow morning at 10:30. please pray that we get a clear scan and that the side effects from the sedation will be few! thank you!

still and small

2010-01-13T23:55:00.004-05:00

whew! what a difference a day makes. last night after hearing the need for an mri for buggie, i was devastated. how could this be happening? i was just so sure she had cancer. i cried out to God most of the night. i asked Him to make my faith real to me. give me the life and actions and not just the right words. i say that i trust Him until something comes along that doesn't feel or look so great and then that trust was just some pretty words i used when all was well with the world.

bug and i had a typical day. sure, i often found myself staring at her wondering if something horrible was growing inside of her, but for the most part it was a normal day. we went out today to order her birthday cake. we went to dinner and then to church. it was before dinner when bug and i were waiting in the car for honey bear that my God let me hear Him.

i turned on a cd that i listen to just about every time i'm in the car. i thought bug would enjoy the music since she has really taken up dancing lately. i turned on the cd and i usually skip right to song 3. for some reason today i stopped on song 2, said to bug, "oops, not this one. oh, well, we'll listen to it," and was reminded of the faithfulness of the God i serve. here are the lyrics i heard as i stopped on a song i normally pass over:

I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it's bigger now
And I'm afraid You'll let me down

But how can I be certain?
Will You prove Yourself again?

'Cause I'm about to let go
And live what I believe
I can't do a thing now
But trust that You'll catch me
When I let go
When I let go

What is this doubt in me
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You've shown
Your plans are better than my own

And I know I won't make it
If I do this all alone
-barlow girl

um, yes, Lord, i hear You! what a feeling of absolute joy and comfort as i realized my God that i poured my heart out to the night before, my God that i questioned and doubted hadn't forgotten me or stopped listening. He waited until my mind and heart were calm and spoke clearly to me about His unending faithfulness.

sure, i still wonder what the mri results will show. i wonder what the next weeks hold for us and for my sweet girl. but i have absolutely no doubt Who is going before us into those days. i am sure my worry will still kick in occasionally, but i am trusting the Lord to take care of my daughter as only He can. and whatever the test results show Jesus is still King and God is always good!

fyi, bug's mri is scheduled for friday morning. please be in prayer for her.

AGHHHHHUGHHHH!!!!!

2010-01-12T23:03:00.005-05:00

that is how i am feeling tonight - like i want to just yell at someone.

bug had her CAT scan today. it went really well. sedation wasn't necessary and we were done in about 10 minutes start to finish. i was so proud of my girl. tonight at about 6:15 our pediatrician called with the results. she let us know that the problem they had been concerned about (a blockage) was not there! we praise the Lord for this answer to our prayers. she did have some other information for us. the radiologist noticed a small spot at the base of bug's head. they have ordered an MRI. best case scenario here is the spot is absolutely nothing - just a blip in the film. the not so bad scenario is that the spot is a pretty common cyst that we may have to do nothing about. the worst case is cancer.

when i heard that word i immediately broke down. of course i think we are destined to be told this is the worst case scenario. i just keep asking God why this is all happening if it is only going to come back as a clean scan. is He trying to teach us the necessity of trusting only Him? why can't he do that by taking away our financial means or by having our car breakdown? why does He have to mess with my sweet girl? and then i remember He is God and He can do whatever He wants. and that His ways are not my ways - His ways are always for good. i have to believe that now. i know it in my head but my heart isn't so sure.

so we will schedule the MRI tomorrow. please pray with us that this spot seen on the CAT scan is just a blur in the film. my Savior sustained this baby girl in my womb and has sustained her for this first year of her life. He knows what's best for her.

i am going to get back to work. i am working on decorations for bug's birthday party. the party is saturday afternoon. we WILL have a good time celebrating this sweet little girl and her first year of many with us!

anxious

2010-01-11T22:19:00.002-05:00

my little bug was born early at 35 weeks (little stinker!). however, she was very fortunate and the worst problem she had was some pretty pesky jaundice. now at a year old she is right on developmental track with full term babies the same age. the Lord has really blessed us and our sweet girl.

this past friday we went in for bug's 12 month well check. all was looking happy and healthy except her little...or, ahem...not so little head. this month her head measurements spiked since her last visit at 9 months. i haven't really been sharing with too many people - something about keeping to ourselves makes it feel like it isn't real - but bug will go in tomorrow morning for a CAT scan to check out her skull and to make sure there are no blockages causing a build up of fluid. if you know me you know i am a worry wort! so since friday my stomach has been in knots.

i have been talking to God every moment i get asking for a clean report, asking why He has allowed this if we are just going to get a clean report...and then i feel pretty self absorbed. there are parents out there facing some pretty serious stuff with their children. kate mcrae has been constantly on my mind. kate is a 6 year old little girl battling a brain tumor. her family needs all the prayer they can get, and here i am making myself sick over a test that will most likely prove my daughter is just fine.

i guess i just want to ask for your prayers on bug's behalf. she will most likely be sedated so we are hoping there are no side effects. and we are, of course, praying that the scan will prove my sweet girl's head is just fine.

here's hoping the poor girl has simply inherited her mama's big head (i had the same issue as a baby, though knowing this doesn't make my worry any less)! trying to trust in the One who writes all of our days - He has always proven Himself faithful and there is no reason for me to think He won't do so again. His plan is always best even if it doesn't feel good.

enough...or is it?

2010-01-05T23:40:00.005-05:00

i was singing at the top of my lungs while i was driving this evening. this is nothing new - i
tend to do this whenever driving alone (and sometimes not alone). but tonight while i was singing the following words it was different:

All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You
Is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

All of you is more than enough for all of me
for every thirst and every need
you satisfy me with your love
and all I have in you is more than enough

You're my sacrifice of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King You're everything
Still more awesome than I know

All of you is more than enough for all of me
for every thirst and every need
you satisfy me with your love
and all I have in you is more than enough

in the midst of my little private car concert i heard, "really, danielle, am I enough? are you truly satisfied with only Me?" i am still floored whenever the Lord speaks directly to me. no, it wasn't an audible voice. it was that still small voice speaking a thought to me that i couldn't have possibly come up with myself. if i came up with it myself i would say that the Lord is for sure all i need and that i am totally content with nothing and no one other than Him. but He caught me in the midst of my personal ego boost where i was letting myself know how spiritually arrived i am and how together i have it and brought me back down to where my heart really is - often unsatisfied, relying on and trusting in earthly possessions and humans, always wanting more and not being fulfilled in all that i do possess.

it was impossible for me to continue singing. how could i go on singing these words when the One i was offering them to saw right through me? and was i really offering the song to Him or to myself to make myself feel all right about where i am in my Christian walk? i, unfortunately, believe the latter is the truth.

while i am embarrassed and ashamed of my conceited motives, i am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who will not leave me reveling in my worthless acts of goodness and pretty lyrics but who will show me where my heart really is and just as quickly forgive me. His faithfulness and love is still overwhelming to me. what an awesome God we serve!

this new year i hope to get to the place in my life and walk with Jesus where i can sing with all sincerity "all of You is more than enough for all of me."

time flies when you're having fun

2010-01-02T22:53:00.027-05:00

a year ago today i learned that i have a lot more love in my heart than i knew existed and that i am a lot stronger physically than i ever imagined! a year ago today my heart was born and began living on the outside of my body. i became mommy to this sweet sweet girl a year ago today.

my little bug,

every day i thank the Lord for allowing me to be the one to take care of you. He could've chosen anyone to be your mommy but He chose me and i am so grateful. you bring such joy to each day - even those tough, crabby teething days i wouldn't trade for anything in the world. when you smile, even for a moment, all the hard days are more than worth it. tears and messes, dirty diapers and sleepless nights are small in comparison to how big my happiness is because of you!

it is so crazy how such a little girl who can't speak a word can teach me so much about myself and about our Savior. you have shown me just how important a daily, personal relationship with Jesus is. and while this special day was just for you i hope that you will know that nothing in this world is more important than knowing Jesus as your Savior. if i leave nothing behind on this earth than a daughter who loves and serves the Lord my life will have been well worth every minute.

this has been the absolute best, most overwhelming, extremely challenging, completely joyful, most fun, fantastically wonderful year of my life! you have made our family whole. and while your daddy and i pray that the Lord has brothers and sisters in His plan for us we know that our hearts are overflowing with love and completely full having you as our daughter.

thank you, my sweet buggie girl, for making me want to be a better person, a better wife, a better friend, a better example of Jesus. you have changed our lives and we would never want to go back to the way it was before you. while i miss my little baby girl i am so excited to see you grow and don't know if i can be more proud of you than i am right now. you are my joy.

i love you with my whole heart, my sweet bug.

your mommy

see you next year!

2009-12-22T13:12:00.001-05:00

i am leaving today to visit my family in pennsylvania. my parents don't have internet access (can you believe it?!) so i won't be checking in for about a week. i hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a happy happy new year!

merry bleep

2009-12-21T23:15:00.003-05:00

i remember in past years hearing people talk about not liking the phrase "happy holidays" and wanting to keep Christ in "Christ"mas, but this year i think i have heard it more than all previous years combined.

i am not sure why we as believers expect unbelievers to see the meaning of saying "merry christmas." i do understand why many choose to not use the word christmas when speaking to a large group or to a stranger - they want to recognize the various celebrations of this season - remember, they aren't believers.

and i have to admit that i am proud and so thankful to live in a country of religious freedom; a country where we are free to worship as we wish and to observe whatever celebrations are a part of the beliefs we choose. aren't Christians so often upset that tolerance is preached but not practiced toward them? i think that may be where this opposition to the simple phrase "happy holidays" comes from. christians feel that their beliefs are under attack. i feel like a kind "happy holidays" from someone is a recoginition of the various beliefs of their fellow citizens - their attempt to actually include all beliefs and not to exclude any. of course, my hope and prayer is that all would have their eyes opened to the truth of the Bible and the forgiveness found in the blood of Jesus, but i realize that not everyone will accept the truth. and because of this realization i am not offended or upset when someone wishes me a happy holiday.

i can not expect behavior, beliefs, or actions of a believer from an unbeliever. all i can do is live out and speak out when possible the truth of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. and i can kindly accept a greeting of "happy holidays" and offer a "merry christmas" to those i come across this time of year.

hark! the herald angels stress...

2009-12-18T22:18:00.004-05:00

i am pretty sure the herald angels were singing and not stressing, but it is easy to forget about the singing this time of year. i haven't noticed it in past years so much, but this Christmas i find myself looking like this:

it started with the decorations - put the tree up, don't put the tree up; decorate only the living room, decorate any room with a surface to decorate; too many decorations, not enough decorations.

followed by the card - send a card, don't send a card; pay extra for a photo card, send a simple card; send a card to every person you have made eye contact with since kindergarten, send a card to family and close friends.

then came the shopping - so many people, so little money. it seems like there just isn't enough cash to buy decent gifts for everyone on our list.

and what is Christmas without decorations, cards, and gifts?! i think i need to take a breath. i need to remember that Christmas isn't about any one of those things. and while i know that Christmas is the time of year i can reflect on the birth of my Savior, that great Gift gets lost and nearly forgotten under all the envelope addressing and gift wrapping. i spend more evenings lamenting all that is still left to do and buy and no time praising the Baby born to save my soul.

i don't believe that anything is inheritantly wrong with decorating your home or giving a gift. however, if the meaning of Christmas is an afterthought, an excuse to buy and receive, there is a problem.

Jesus was born so that we may receive a gift not found in stores; a gift that would not be forgotten before the next December 25th rolls around; a gift that relieves stress, not causes it; maybe next year we will forgo all of the commercial/consumerist pomp and circumstance and use the season to be thankful for and to share the best gift ever given - eternal life through the blood of Jesus Christ.

may we remember the young mother cradling her newborn Son - her Son sent to be the Savior of the world.

"Kissing the Face of God" by Morgan Weistling

our christmas home

2009-12-16T17:31:00.015-05:00

boy, i haven't been around here much lately. and i am super late for the nester's christmas tour of homes. but better late than never, right??? my decorations are pretty minimal this year with a newly cruising/just about walking, into everything and everything into her mouth 11 month old!

so without further ado - welcome to my christmas home!

our front door

a close up of the wreath. i made this about 3 years ago and it has really held up well!

the mat right inside the door.

the hallway as you enter

a "gift" my husband's grandmother made - i leave it out year round because it matches my kitchen.

this mirror is over our couch. i got the wreath at target for $2.50 and hot glued the ornaments on.

i usually use this glass bead garland on our tree. but this year we opted not to put the big tree up because of buggie's uncontrollable curiosity and mama's need for sanity! so i filled up the bottom of this hurricane vase with the garland.

a nativity ornament that is usually on our tree found a nice home on this decorative jar on a bookcase in the living room.

our bitty 18 inch tree. it will find a new home in buggie's room or in the kitchen next Christmas.

our stockings hung over the television. i found the stocking holders a couple years ago at the dollar store! i bought 4 of them with dreams of two little ones to fill the others one day. i was so happy to hang buggie's stocking on one of those hooks!

my favorite Christmas decoration - my nativity. i just love this! the crosses hang here year round. i thought the imagery of the Baby Jesus under the cross was pretty touching and a great reminder of why Jesus was born in the first place. this picture does not do this justice!

thank you for stopping by my place! after your visit to my home jump over to the nesting place and take a look around some really lovely decorated homes that often cause me to be envious, but in a nice Christlike way (is that possible? ha!)!

slacker

2009-12-07T21:52:00.003-05:00

have i been a big ol' blogging slacker, or what? you miss one day and it is so easy to miss another...and another. i am really going to have to get back to my daily blogging habits.

i realized that i never posted a picture from buggie's first thanksgiving. there are a few pretty cute ones of my little sweetie enjoying turkey and butter beans but i will just leave you with this one. hoping to see you back around here tomorrow!

thumbs up thursday

2009-12-03T21:19:00.003-05:00

i do not want to make God's Word trivial or fluffy by saying i give it a thumbs up, but today i can think of absolutely nothing better in this life or the next than God's saving grace. and a simple thumbs up will never be enough to express how truly rich these words are to me:

I Corinthians 6:9-11

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. BUT you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

fore!

2009-12-02T22:47:00.003-05:00

i do not personally know tiger woods. i am not a golf fan. even so, i have somewhere along the way developed an idea of who i thought tiger woods was/is. i have seen interviews he has given. i have heard others talk about him. he seemed to me to be a nice guy, a hard worker. i know that many consider him a master athlete. he is regarded as a role model to many. then his car hits a tree and his life hits the fan.

women claiming to have had immoral relationships with tiger are speaking out left and right. various media outlets are covering woods' infidelity as if all wars are over and this is the biggest news around. i can't shake thoughts about this man's wife and children, about this man's eternal soul.

i am disappointed by tiger's infidelities. of course! i have yet to figure out why men stray from their wives. my heart aches for tiger's wife. the pain she must be feeling. the feelings of doubt she must have about herself and if this is her fault. i hurt for their children. this situation is hard enough on children of "regular" parents let alone on children of celebrity parents. and my heart is a bit tender toward tiger himself. hold on! don't get upset that i am not bashing him. i will explain.

tiger woods is human. what he has done is absolutely, without any doubt wrong. but we can not put all hope and faith in a human being. we will always be disappointed. the flesh will always fail us. there is but One that we should put on a pedestal - Jesus Christ. this is not the first time a public figure, a "role model" has transgressed and proven himself to be less than what we have thought. i am not trying to excuse tiger's actions and behavior, but i am trying to say that further humiliating him or dragging out more and more dirt about his relationships will do no good.

i would argue that we need to view tiger woods as a man that is in need of a personal relationship with Jesus. how do i know he doesn't have one? i don't. only God knows our hearts. based on what has been going on in his life, though, i would say if he does know Jesus he isn't walking very closely to Him right now. can we not see him as a broken man who makes mistakes but who was created for so much more?

we are pretty fortunate. when we fail it is between us, those we've failed, and the Lord. unfortunately, his failures are not simply between himself, his family, and God. due to his public status tiger's failures are between the world as well. i dare say this is none of our business. any negative talk, inappropriate text messages, private voicemails, etc being swirled around in the media isn't only hurting tiger woods. how is the public knowing every single detail going to help a broken marriage, hurting children, and other players in this situation?

my disappointment is not only targeted at tiger's infidelity - it is extended to these women who are revealing the information. are these women proud of having an affair with a married father of 2? is their lust for money and celebrity so overwhelming that they don't care who they hurt on their quest? these women, too, are broken and in need of the only One that will fulfill all of their desires. flings with celebrities, 15 minutes of fame, and money will never fill the hearts of these women. they are searching for something, whether they would admit that or not. the media is no better when it comes to these women. the media is simply using them - they don't care who these women are or what their stories or hurts or joys are - the media wants a story and they will use these women for just that.

it would be easy to bash tiger woods for cheating on his wife. it may even be tempting to do so. but wouldn't it take more character to pray for this man and his hurting family - to see this man as a child of God who needs Him - to forgive his indiscretions and hope that he is able to heal and rebuild his marriage and relationship with his children? wouldn't our pursuing of Christlikeness be stretched if we prayed for the women involved in these affairs? if we prayed that the Lord opens their eyes to His love and His gift to them in Jesus? if we prayed that these women recognize their worth and beauty in the Kingdom and not just as sex objects for men to use when they feel like it? i do pray that God will use these horrible circumstances in the woods' household to make Himself known to them. that the Lord will make Himself known to the women involved. that all glory will go to the Father and that hearts and lives will be restored.

why are mondays so yucky?

2009-11-30T17:04:00.003-05:00

it has been one of those days. honey bear is back to work after a long weekend and bug is in the midst of a teething frenzy. my sweet girl woke up a bit crabby and has remained that way unless she is eating.

here is my question - my plea - how do you start and implement discipline? my day is full of "no, bug" and "bug, don't touch that." she knows when i say "no" that she isn't supposed to be doing whatever it is that she's doing because she stops, looks at me, and then has a breakdown. this is how the entire day proceeds - i say no, she has a meltdown, then she tries again, repeat.

until this point i have had the absolute sweetest baby. and she still is so sweet, only now the sweetness is occasionally interrupted by crazy, i want my way, screaming baby. i am really just not sure what to do. how do you start discipline with an 11 month old? how do you enforce rules? what do you do when there is a breakdown? how do i explain the discipline when i'm not sure she understands? i need a book! or your advice!

jesus loves mean people too

2009-11-25T21:33:00.004-05:00

whenever we go out i usually (not absolutely 100% of the time) make sure bug is donning a hairbow. i just love them on her. and, afterall, she is my little girl!

bug and i and one of her many hairbows!

so today was no different. we went to dinner with her nana, papa, and her aunt a and then to target and bug's outfit was complete with a hairbow. she really does not mind them one bit. the only time she ever pulls at the hairbow is when she is really sleepy. other than that those bows stay on all day and, no, we never have a fight when putting them on. i would say 99.9% of the time we hear ooos and ahhhs and "she is so cute" and "look at that hairbow" from people we come across. today, though, we had our first not so friendly reaction.

while in target a woman walked by us, looked directly at bug, very audibly and with great disdain said "ugh, poor kid" and continued walking by. i, of course, couldn't let that go and said, "my child is very happy." she, indeed, was very happy - cooing and laughing and playing with her aunt a. i can't be for certain why this woman said this but i drew the conclusion that the hairbow was the culprit. i would so love to say that i was oh so very Christlike towards this woman, but i cannot tell a lie. i immediately began pointing out all physical things about her that were unbecoming: her 3 shades of blue hair, her tshirt that was inside out, her overall obnoxious demeanor. is she obnoxious? i really can't say - my anger was talking.

as i've been able to step back from this for a bit i realize that i was no better than this woman. and she, if truth be told, really did nothing wrong. so she doesn't like bug's hairbow - big deal! i took her comment as an attack on my parenting. my parenting is no better or worse due to her comment. but my heart and attitude could've responded in a much better way. i am pretty positive that the Lord was not pleased with my glaring at this woman or with my negative comments toward her even if she didn't hear them. i gave not a fleeting thought to this woman's eternal person and focused solely on how she had hurt me and how she was way worse off than my sweet daughter wearing a hairbow. truth is, she may just be worse off - she may not know Jesus as her Savior. i look back now and wonder if i could've used the few seconds i tried to assure her of bug's happiness to say something of more eternal value. i wonder how things would've been different if i had looked past her personal preferences that i do not share (ie blue hair) and tried to see her as someone my Savior loves and calls for me to love.

i am ashamed that i cannot walk the walk of Jesus when it matters. i am really good at talking about it but when it matters my flesh seems to always win out. i hope next time i can hear with Jesus' ears and see with His eyes.

*and this has absolutely nothing to do with this post but i just wanted to say how H.O.T. my husband is* (that's for you, baby! love you so much!)*

i am 25 and holding

2009-11-24T21:55:00.003-05:00

i just got an email today about my...ahem...10 year high school class reunion. i was certain that i was emailed by mistake. i checked the sender's name again and my name again. ok, they meant to send it to me. so surely someone miscounted. there is no way i should be receiving information about a 10 year high school reunion. that is just crazy since i just graduated last year!

where oh where does the time go? i remember high school like it was yesterday. i don't feel a day over 15. but then i look around and realize i live 500 miles away from my parents, i have a husband, a baby, and i was a teacher myself for 3 years. i guess 10 years has gone by.

my best friends who was born the day before me, and yes, we have known each other as long, said not too long ago that she is 25. i quickly reminded her that we are indeed 27. she corrected me, "no, i am 25 and holding." of course! now i get it. me, too!

teeth trees and pulling up

2009-11-23T21:15:00.003-05:00

oh, goodness, bug just keeps teething! once those little buggers break through we are fine, but waiting for that to happen may just drive me mad! buggie was just miserable today. every morning i walk into her room to a happily cooing and smiling little girl. this morning i walked in to screaming fit for a horror movie. and it didn't end when i picked her up. she went on this way until about 3:30 when i took a look around her mouth, saw that little area of gums that was translucent looking and bulging, gave her some tylenol, and finally rocked/coaxed her to sleep. she slept for 2 hours and woke up in pretty good spirits. i felt her gums and sure enough that little tooth had broken through. glory! hopefully tomorrow is a tooth free day...

this will be bug's first christmas. i am really looking forward to seeing her in her christmas jammies and ripping open packages. i have had grand pictures in my head of us photographing our little sweetie in her christmas dress in front of the tree. but i don't think those reveries will come true this year. see, our little one is pulling up and cruising around - and still putting everything she finds into her mouth. i am not so keen on putting the tree up this year. it is already a full day's work keeping her out of our general decorations - i can't imagine keeping her out of the tree and keeping the tree out of her mouth! so as much as i hate the idea of not having our tree up i really think my sanity will thank me in the long run. fortunately we will be spending christmas day at my parents' house where their tree will be up and twinkling so it won't be a completely tree free christmas.

i feel like these teething, learning to walk, eating anything that fits into her mouth days are really long sometimes. but then i think of her having all of her teeth, walking to the school bus, and being pretty picky about what goes into her mouth and i miss my baby.

nothing in particular and everything on my mind

2009-11-20T23:16:00.003-05:00

i wasn't really sure what to write about tonight so i guess i'll just do a little rambling. =) can we talk about how crazy a day can be with a little one who crawls all over the place and is now pulling herself up on anything she can put her hands on?! i feel like most of my day is spent telling bug "stay away from there" and "don't touch that." and i am pretty sure i never sit. i am trying to see the bright side - never sitting has got to equal some calories burned!

so i have missed my quiet time with Jesus two days in a row. it makes such a difference to your day. i think i will do some Bible reading before bed tonight. i really like to do it first thing in the morning, but the past two mornings both bug and i have slept in. the extra sleep has been nice but i really miss the extra time with Jesus. i MUST get back on track! i've been thinking about incorporating some singing into my time. i really love singing praise to the Lord and why not do it during my devotions? do you use music for your quiet time? do you use a devotional book? i am always interested in knowing what works for everyone. i don't really have a set thing i do. right now i read a devotional and then follow the schedule for reading the Bible through in a year. i like getting an old and new testament passage and a psalm in. do you have any recommendations for devotional books?

my sweet honey bear didn't get home from work until 9pm tonight! oh, i missed him! i had gone ahead and fed bug dinner before he got home and she went down for the night as he was walking in. the two of us had hamburgers and fries from take out for dinner. it was yummy and i am simply ignoring the lack of health benefits in the meal. we are both sitting on the couch now and winding down for the night.

i will spare you any more mundane details of my day. i will leave you, however with another song by casting crowns on their new cd until the whole world hears. i am just really loving this cd right now!

thumbs up thursday

2009-11-19T22:36:00.004-05:00

i love casting crowns! i have enjoyed their music for quite a while. the lyrics are just so good. that sounds hokey but honestly their lyrics are so great. i talked about another of their songs here.

this past tuesday casting crowns' newest cd until the whole world hears came out. my sweet mother in love had preordered copies for me and my sister in love. i have been listening to it since i got it from her yesterday. again, so good! my favorite song is track 11, blessed redeemer. the song with the lyrics is in a youtube video at the end of this post. hope you enjoy it as much as i do.

so, thumbs up thursday this week goes to casting crowns!

sorry this was so rushed! my sister in love and i have a midnight date with a sparkly friend of ours! =) do any of you know our friend?

a post by Bug's Mimi

2009-11-17T15:20:00.002-05:00

God, I want to do great things for you,
And speak to all the nations!
God replies:
That's well and good,
But for now
Fix your children's complications.
Lord, I want to straighten up the world,
Feed the hungry and fulfill someones wishes!
God says:
Fine, but for the present,
You need to wash the dishes.
Lord, I want to preach, proclaim your name
And bring salvation to the earth!
God says:
Good! Then teach your children
And preach my name to those you've given birth.
At the end of the day,
I think of all I've done.
But as I look it seems,
I've accomplished nothing for the Son!
God, I had no time to witness one on one,
I couldn't join my church group,
They said I missed out on lots of fun.
My household is the only thing
That managed to be cleaned,
My neighbor is the only one,
Besides my family I could feed.
The only ones I've ready Your Word
Are those within my home.
God I've done so very little
And I feel so all alone!
God says:
I've seen the way you cleaned and cooked
And taught your kids My name.
Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock,
I'll watch you do the same.
The work you do at home,
Though no one really sees,
Is helping to raise little ones
To grow and worship me.
My ways are not your ways,
I don't expect you yet to see,
But the precepts that you've taught your children,
Will help others bow the knee.
Your children will reach out to others,
Your example in their mind.
They'll do great work for Me
And their children will respond in kind.
The hand that rules the world,
Also rocks the cradle.
Because of you, your children love Me,
All their hearts are stable.
Though your house is your domain,
Your tasks seem rather plain,
Your efforts will reach the multitudes,
Though from humble work they came.

-author unknown

Sometimes the day to day toiling in the home seems so pointless, unglamorous, and very much mundane, but then I remember the words that Jesus spoke in Matthew 25:35-46. He spoke about being naked and you clothed Me, I was hungry and you fed Me, I was a stranger and you took Me in. The disciples asked "When, Lord, did we do these things?" And He said that if you do it to the "least of these" you do it for Me. When we bring that little stranger into the world, put him to the breast, change his diapers and dress him up snug....we are doing that for HIM! Our once humble home has become a temple in which to worship our Lord. We are giving praise and glory to Him simply by caring for the ones He has placed into our lives. What an awesome thing to be working together with the Most High God to raise these children!

come out, come out wherever you are!

2009-11-16T21:19:00.003-05:00

yes, i have been m.i.a. for a while. i don't know what happened. for a while there it seemed like we had plans every night of the week and by the time i would get home blogging was the last thing on my mind. but i knew, as the governor of california has been known to say, i'd be back!

this week i have started implementing a new routine. not for bug but for me. i have always been a night owl. i love to stay up late and sleep in late. when i had a baby i was concerned that my sleeping in would be no more. thankfully i have been blessed with a little one who sleeps until 9 or 9:30. by the time i get my day started and tend to all of bug's unending needs i find that it is midnight and i have made no quiet time for the Lord. so last night i went to bed a bit earlier than usual and i got up this morning when my husband got up to get ready for work.

i spent the hour or so before bug awoke reading my Bible, reading a little devotional, and praying. i can't tell you what a difference this made to my day!!! all day i had the thoughts from my morning reading running through my head. it was like a reminder of why i had a day at all. i found myself considerably less on edge and stressed. i did several household chores without loathing them. and i played on the floor with my sweet girl happily instead of feeling like i was simply filling time. my thoughts were far more often on heavenly things today than usual.

i want to leave you with a quote from my reading from this morning.

jonathan edwards said, "'the godly are designed for unknown and inconceivable happiness.' in other words, the certainty and greatness of the happiness of God's people is as sure as God's zeal for his own glory."

how could i not have a good day after reading that? and this:

I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me. I will rejoice in doing them good, and I will plant them in this land in faithfulness, with all my heart and all my soul. jeremiah 32:30-41

a little side note, tomorrow i will be sharing with you a post written by a very special guest blogger - my bug's mimi!!! it's a good one so be sure to check it out.

thumbs up thursday

2009-11-05T20:16:00.004-05:00

i am feeling a bit guilty tonight. were you hoping for a new emotion? sorry. anyway, feeling some guilt. i think i may have rushed bedtime tonight.

the clock said 7:40, bug said in not so many words that she was sleepy, and i said i am ready to be done for the day. so honey bear offered to change our sweet girl into her jammies. i should've come to her room right after for a story, Bible time, and a song but instead i just yelled in, "nite nite, buggie. i love you," and honey bear put her down. now she was out in less than 60 seconds of her head hitting the...she doesn't use a pillow, but you get the idea, so i know without a doubt that she was exhausted. i just feel bad because all i could think about was this (yes, those are my tootsies):

it has been a long day. nothing out of the ordinary, i am just feeling especially worn down. so i am now lounging in my bubble bath thinking about how nice it is to just be danielle for a bit and not mommy. being mommy is so great but just being danielle comes with a lot less demands. so i will rest tonight and wake up ready to be bug's mom 100% in the morning.

until then i give a thumbs up to bedtime! (and blogging in the bathtub even though my husband is none too thrilled about my computer being so close to water)

to my husband's sister

2009-11-04T16:56:00.003-05:00

dear sister in love,

you know that i loved your brother from, literally, the moment i first met him. at that point my heart was his. so when i found out he had a sister i added another sister to the many i already have. you were his and now you were mine, too.

i know that before we moved closer to you we didn't talk that often. i think it was a little she's his sister/she's his wife so we'll be nice kind of relationship. we probably haven't always seen eye to eye, but over this past year i have been able to actually get to know you. so you being my sister because you're my husband's sister has changed to you being my sister because i love you. i have just the greatest time with you when we spend wednesdays and fridays driving our husbands mad with our unending shopping. i never feel pressed for conversation when i'm with you - probably because if i don't have anything to say there is no doubt that you will! i love how much you love my buggie. she is my number one girl and i think you may love her just as much as i do...well, maybe not as much as i do...a special love is formed when you push someone out of your body, but you get my drift. and i thank you for sharing your mom and dad with me. it isn't the easiest thing being so far from my parents and your parents have really filled some of my loneliness for my own. my family, my sisters and my best friends all live so far away - but now i know that i have a dear sweet friend and sister just 5 minutes away.

i know that you are feeling a bit stressed and scared with things that are happening in your life right now. i also know that you know the One who holds all the plans. i don't have the answers or peace our Heavenly Father can give you, but i can offer you an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and a hug when you need it. i love you with my whole heart.

me and my big head, buggie, my sister in love

let me check my schedule

2009-11-02T22:51:00.005-05:00

i have always been a person that works better with a list. to accomplish anything in a timely and organized manner i need to write it down. i make lists for packing, for projects, for shopping. when i was in college i always felt like i was accomplishing more when i was able to mark things off of my list.

being a stay at home mom is all new to me. i figured i would have housework and baby to care for and how hard could it be? however, most days i find myself running over in my head all of the things i should/could be doing - clean the bathrooms. fold the laundry, unload the dishwasher, vacuum, go through bug's clothes, hang pictures, take out the garbage, mop the kitchen floor, etc etc - and instead of doing them i get overwhelmed with the ongoing list and beat myself up over how much i'm not getting done. i make it to the end of the day having finished maybe one task and dreading the morning when i will face the ever growing list again and my inadequacies as a stay at home mom/wife.

i approached honey bear about how this is affecting not only how our home looks but also how i feel in my role as wife and mother. we have come up with a plan that i think will do some amazing things around here! each saturday i am going to take 2 or so hours to myself. i can go to a bookstore, coffee shop, the park, even just sit in the car if i like. during this time i am going to make lists - lists of cleaning i'd like to take on and assign it to a day (ie bathrooms on monday, bug's room on tuesday, etc), lists of menus, lists for the grocery store, lists of errands assigned to a day. i will be able to follow a daily list of chores, errands, and projects and cross them off as i complete them. not only will i be able to mark things off but i will be tackling things on a day by day basis instead of a never ending, seemingly insurmountable mountain of need-to-dos.

when my lists are finished, i can do some things just by myself. my alone time only happens when i need to use the bathroom and then only if honey bear is home to keep an eye on bug while i go. i never understood the energy boost some people will get from some alone time, but since not being alone for the past 10 months i think i am understanding it a bit more. it is nice to sometimes be alone with your own thoughts - for just a bit. i am hoping to listen to music, read my Bible, do a little mindless shopping, and maybe even some reading from the growing stack of books on my nightstand.

i really feel like this is a plan that will not only help me get things done around here but will help me be more content. don't get me wrong, i am not unhappy - i have the best husband in the world and a beautiful little girl. but letting my daily tasks overwhelm me allows the enemy to invade my thoughts. he will use any moment of stress to make me doubt my worthiness. my discontent with my lack of accomplishment in my home rubs off on my relationship with my husband and on my interaction with my baby. it is time to stand up and fight back - list in hand and all prayed up!

do you have a getaway that works for you during the week? how do you keep the housework and mommy duties in check without feeling overwhelmed?

thumbs up thursday

2009-10-29T22:29:00.005-04:00

my darling daughter l.o.v.e.s her big girl food! and i really enjoy watching her eat. it is just too cute. however, along with both of our enjoyment also comes mushed cheese in the carpet and runaway peas on the floor. the issue is compounded by the fact that we are in an apartment that is carpeted wall to wall. so i find myself dragging my beloved vacuum out about 3 times a day. ugh...vacuuming is definitely not my favorite past time.

i am sure that i am not the first one to think of this idea i am about to share, but i'll tell ya, it has been such a big help! i decided to find one of those plastic, flannel backed tablecloths to put under bug's highchair while she eats. then when she is finished i just roll the tablecloth up and shake it out either outside or over the garbage can. this solution has cut down my bonding time with the vacuum but i'll get over it!

btw, i have had the idea to put the tablecloth under the highchair for a couple of weeks, but the only tablecloths i could find were $5 or more and not very cute. i mean, the girl has to have a cute tablecloth under her. i was at the dollar store yesterday for gift wrapping materials and just happened to see some plastic tablecloths. i was set on getting a round one and from where i was standing i could only make out one tablecloth that looked cute. i figured the chances of it being cute and round and only a dollar were slim to none - i was wrong! it is round, and, if i may say so, pretty adorable.

to my vacuum

2009-10-29T11:12:00.002-04:00

dear cute red vacuum,

i realize that over the last three years i have oft neglected you leaving you in the hall closet for days, often weeks, on end without so much as a quick run around the living room. i have not forgotten all the great attachments that you have to offer and how lovely you can really make all of my rooms.

you see, it is just that over the past few years it has just been me and honey bear. the carpets could use a go over every now and again, but in my laid back cleaning style it just wasn't necessary to bring you out that often. surely you knew this day would come. the day when we would have a crawling nine month old who is able to spot the tiniest of crumb or paper or outdoor debris and promptly put it in her mouth.

so i am coming to you today, my dear vacuum, asking you to forgive my past neglect and to partner with me in an effort to suck up all of this gunck! perhaps it is you giving me the cold shoulder for visiting you so infrequently, but when i stop by every other day (sometimes every day) to free you from the hall closet and attack the carpets you just aren't performing in the way necessary. the carpets still harbor small bits of...stuff that the baby manages to find and eat.

in my effort to make amends i am willing to fit you with a new filter this afternoon. i hope that you will accept my gift and forgive me for my past grievances. let's work together to keep yuck out of the baby's mouth and to keep my sanity intact.

i do indeed care greatly for you, vacuum. thank you for accepting my letter. from here on out, let's be the best of pals!

sincerely,
bug's mom

pray pray pray

2009-10-28T09:58:00.002-04:00

little stellan - mckmama's sweet almost one year old boy - was admitted to the picu last night. go to mckmama's blog for all the details and updates. most importantly, PRAY for baby stellan! and for his mommy and daddy.

mckmama.com

jesus is my homeboy?

2009-10-27T22:33:00.005-04:00

i have been taught since birth that a christian is to be different from an unbeliever. that sentence on the surface is easy to accept and it makes sense. let's go a little further. other than believing Jesus is God and that He died and rose again, a believer should be different. i then went to a very strict, conservative christian college where the clothes you wear, music you listen to, haircut you have, etc etc was a part of this "being different." i have been from one extreme to the other on where i stood on these issues. i am going to do my best to flesh out some of the observations i've made. i am by no means a Bible scholar or at the utmost point of my sanctification. i am simply trying to live the life that God asks of me.

it seems that today so many believers are trying to make christianity "cool." we want unbelievers to accept us. we want to blend in. we want to dress the same way, go to the same places, listen to the same music, watch the same movies. we want unbelievers to think we're "normal." now i will be the first to tell you that my convictions and standards on most of these issues are not at the level my dad (hi, daddy!) wishes they were. i will also admit that while i am where i want to be with some of these issues there are some where i am trying to do what i want under the guise of "it's not hurting anyone."

i, too, struggle with wanting to fit in. that usually manifests itself in my draw to pop culture and my clothes. but then i read this in the Bible and wonder what the cost of "fitting in" really is:

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Matthew 5:11

wow, huh?! i know, sounds like a good time to me. not really! the thing is is that Jesus didn't promise us a good time. they hated Him, why wouldn't they hate us? we have just gotten really good at making Jesus just like the world that we don't often have too much persecution in our lives.

i am pretty sure i am not about to make friends with what i am going to talk about. but why do i have to keep it to myself? i am not saying i have all the answers - goodness knows i surely don't. this is just what i've been thinking about. let's talk about some specifics.

music - a touchy issue for sure. so i will be the first to tell you i listen to a bunch of different kinds of music. i honestly do not have a problem with secular music whose lyrics are not full of sexual perversion or profanity. i want to talk about the music we use specifically for worship. the church i attend uses only hymns and very traditional church music. i am totally fine with this. i am also fine with churches that incorporate some praise and worship. i love a good chorus. and chris tomlin and others have some of the most worshipful songs i have heard in quite a long time. deep, meaningful, worshipful lyrics that are not overpowered by the instruments. i came across a flyer for a Christian concert recently. i do not remember the exact wording but it was "Christian goth, punk and hardcore" bands. um....am i the only one that sees a problem here? we simply can not take music of the world, throw in a few Jesuses and call it worship music. i am by no means questioning the hearts of those that listen to this music. i am sure that there are many faithful believers that do. i am just saying that i don't think it makes much sense to unbelievers. the music we sing to our Savior should definitely be different than music the world uses for pleasure.

dress - should a believer dress any differently than an unbeliever? i would answer yes and no to this question. i love clothes! i like to shop for them, i like to mix and match them. i love jewelry and shoes. i like putting outfits together. i like to be current. i think all of this is perfectly acceptable for a believer. but there are some guidelines; some standards. we are to be living testimonies of Jesus Christ. we are His hands and feet. we are the only Jesus some people may ever see. if i walk into a social situation with all of my goods in plain view is this a good example of Jesus? am i drawing an unbeliever to me by my shining testimony or my shining tatas? is my skirt or shorts cut so high that the looks i'm getting aren't because i exude such peace and joy but because they are wondering what undergarments i was able to wear with my outfit? i want to draw others to Christ, not away from Him by aiding in their lustful thoughts. i know we don't like to think about this ladies, but if what i am wearing is revealing and a man looks at me and has an impure thought it isn't only his problem. and remember our bodies are not our own! they are foremost God's and secondly they are for our husbands (or future husbands) to enjoy. don't give the gift of your body to the world by showing it off in revealing clothes or bathing suits (don't get me started on swimwear!). we absolutely should be well kept and current but not revealing and sensuous. not all unbelievers dress seductively but what message are we sending to them when we don't cover up and yet say we are representatives of God's Kingdom?

entertainment - like television and movies. i am going to just put it out there; i used to watch sex and the city. i did not watch it on hbo (though i have seen it there) but on tbs. here was my rationalization, "sarah jessica parker is so cute and sweet. and i just love to see what the girls are wearing. and it is on tbs so it is edited." great, but the premise of the show is the sex lives of 4 SINGLE women. they have sex when they want with who they want and often not with the same who. as a believer who knows that God has clear guidelines about sex outside of marriage i had/have no business watching that show. i think we have become so desensitized by sex, violence, and profanity that we often have very low standards for our viewing entertainment. having a baby has really opened my eyes to what i am filling my mind with in the form of tv and movies. i have tried, and still not successfully, to not look at anything i wouldn't want my daughter to look at. we also are often quick to say no to sex but ok to violence. i would argue that neither are appealing to our Lord. if we are filling our minds with the same things the world is how can we reach them? i am not saying be oblivious to pop culture or what is out there. we should know what is going on but we don't have to be submerged in it.

alcohol - i almost didn't add this topic. it is oh so touchy! ok, there are those that believe the Bible is black and white on the subject. and there are those that believe it may be a bit gray. here is the conclusion i have come to after about 4 years of back and forth: i do not think the Bible says not to drink. it speaks very clearly about not being drunk. now, don't get ahead of me. i am not saying go party it up! while i believe this may fall under liberty there are other things we have to think about. when you order a drink at a restaurant or buy a bottle of wine at the grocery store does the waiter or cashier know that you don't drink to excess? do they know that Jesus Christ lives in your heart? you say, well, no but they don't know that if i just buy a box of cheez-its, either. you are right, they don't. but, whether it is right or not, unbelievers have certain preconceptions about believers and alcohol - they think we aren't supposed to do it. now if i was able to have a discussion with every unbeliever about Christian liberty and why i could have a glass of wine with my dinner and it not be sin it may be ok to partake. but i can't and those who see me drinking it would possibly draw their own conclusions. no, it isn't right, but it happens. now i have many, many dear friends who i respect as believers in Jesus Christ who do drink alcohol. while this is where i have come after my many years of digging around this topic it is not where they have landed. i still totally respect them and interact with them. and they with me. i refuse to break the bonds between believers over a topic like this. now, there are some (hi, dad!) who may have other thoughts about the right action to take. i respect that. i just don't think this issue is one to make or break a friendship and working together of believers.

the Bible tells us to come out from among them and be ye separate. it also tells us to be in the world but not of it. so i will end with this, can we go out among them and be separate? i think we absolutely can. and we must! no matter how we dress or what music we set to our message hearts will not be changed without the working of the Holy Spirit. God doesn't need us to make Him fashionable; our job is not to make Jesus cool to the masses - our job is simply to tell the masses about Him.

i didn't really love it that much

2009-10-23T22:34:00.013-04:00

there is a whole new phase of life going on here at our house. my sweet, content to lay on her tummy time mat, gentle 9 month old bug has found her legs. and by found her legs i mean she has found that her legs can get her places - far far away places where forbidden treasures lie.

i don't think i have ever been too particular about my "things." i mean, i like to keep the things i have nice and somewhat orderly, but i do know that they are just "things." i am sure that my dad is probably rolling his eyes if (and he better be) he's reading this. i have grown up with many small sisters. i lived in a dorm room with 3 other girls. i know that things get broken. but for the past 5 years i have been living with only one other adult (the last 3 with my husband). my stuff has always been safe. now if you are a decoration or picture beware of attack!

today bug made her way from her little play spot all the way across the living room to where this bookshelf is housed:

i love this bookshelf and all the things on it. bug feels the same way. she made super friends with this little treasure:

after loving on her, bug promptly tossed her to the middle of the room. did my sweet baby not know that this figurine is a dear remembrance of the time she spent in my tummy? she either didn't know or didn't care because after she tossed it she went on to crawl into some more trouble.

fortunately, nothing was broken today. i think i need to read that section in my parenting book about baby proofing now! and if (or when) something is broken it will be ok - i don't really love it all that much anyway - definitely not as much as i love this sweetie bug!!!

thumbs up thursday

2009-10-22T21:52:00.002-04:00

i have long wanted to be jewish.

i am aware that this opening declaration most likely sounds absurd. but it is true. i have always been fascinated by judaism. the traditions, the yiddish, the chosen. of course, i do absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt believe that Jesus Christ is the Messiah. that puts a bit of a damper on any conversion dreams. there is just something about this group of people that God Himself chose to be His people. the community His only Son was born into.

in college i happened upon a book in the local library. in all honesty i was drawn to it by the cover, though i can't remember now what the cover even looked like. i took the book back to my dorm room and simply gulped it up. i couldn't put it down. i kept it out several weeks past its due date. that book is today my thumbs up thursday.

girl meets God by lauren winner

lauren was born into a home of a jewish father and southern baptist mother. her parents divorced. lauren was not technically jewish because it is passed through the mother. so she converted to judaism. then in college lauren converted to christianity. this book is the story of her journey. i can not say enough about this great memoir. not only is the story so good but lauren is such a great writer. i have since bought and read her other two books: mudhouse sabbath (SOOO good) and real sex - the naked truth about chastity. i recommend them all! lauren discusses how judaism and christianity are not mutually exclusive of each other. she discusses the jewish traditions she still keeps.

i really encourage you to pick up girl meets God. i get goosebumps whenever a chosen one of God has their eyes opened to the truth of the already come Messiah. really beautiful!

is there a book you hold dear? share it with us!

that time again

2009-10-19T10:08:00.002-04:00

this is the time of the week to share all the things you didn't do and realize you're not the only one! after checking out what i so didn't do this past week, head over to mckmama's blog and share your not me's!

i like taking care of the laundry as soon as i see it. pile in the wash and immediately in the dryer. so i absolutely did not leave a load of towels in the washing machine for a week before i noticed the horrible smell of mildew and had to wash the load two more times. not me, i would never do that!

i would never send my best friend a text message in the middle of church because i had an idea and wanted to tell her before i forgot. cell phone etiquette is a pet peeve of mine! not me.

my husband's 29th birthday is not coming up and i did not book a night in a hotel so we could get away all alone for the first time in 9 months while the baby stayed with her nana and papa. i surely couldn't leave my bug for a whole night and i wouldn't have such a wonderful wonderful time with my handsome love - not me!

what did you not do last week?

busy busy

2009-10-16T13:58:00.002-04:00

this coming tuesday is honey bear's 29th birthday. he assures me this isn't a big deal, but i feel that the last birthday in your twenties is to be celebrated BIG! so i am busy preparing several surprises for my handsome almost 29 year old groom for this evening. i will share those surprises with all of you after they have been revealed to him, of course. so, this is my last post until monday.

thought i would leave you with a laugh (and some truth!). have a great weekend!

thumbs up thursday

2009-10-15T22:15:00.003-04:00

i know that i told you last thursday that i would be doing a giveaway for this thumbs up thursday. unfortunately i am going to have to hold off on that this week. i am hoping that next thursday things will work out. if not, do not be dismayed! there is a thumbs up thursday giveaway in the works.

so today my thumbs are up for kernel season's popcorn seasoning. i enjoy a bag of microwave popcorn. i like to munch on it after getting bug down for the night and while curled up watching tv with honey bear. it just tastes good - and i feel like maybe the popcorn isn't so bad for me.

in the grocery store the other day i happened upon this popcorn seasoning. it is available in a few flavors - white cheddar, kettle corn, garlic parmesan, nacho cheddar, i am sure some others. it was tempting and i succumbed! i decided to try out the nacho cheddar. and boy oh boy is it yummy! just pop your corn like usual - microwave or in a popcorn popper - and sprinkle the cheesy goodness (or whichever flavor you choose) over the corn.

i do refuse to look at the nutrition info on the back of the bottle. i don't want to know. i simply want to eat it. if i know what the label says i am afraid i won't be able to enjoy it as much. this very thing happened to me and a box of little debbie strawberry shortcake rolls. i was happily chomping away on said roll and decided to flip the box over and take a look at the nutrition facts - 240 CALORIES IN ONE ROLL!!!!! i haven't been able to eat one since. so now if i really really like something i can't make myself look at the label. ignorance is bliss.

anywho, back to popcorn. i plan to try out some of the other flavors soon. it is a little pricey, i think. $2.99 per bottle. but every time i sprinkle it on my popcorn i tell honey bear, "this stuff is worth all three dollars!" =)

do you have a favorite snack that deserves a thumbs up? share it with us!

wordless wednesday - hygiene

2009-10-14T23:36:00.001-04:00

i live with a movie star

2009-10-13T22:01:00.003-04:00

since bug was born i have wanted to get a video baby monitor. i like the idea of being able to roll over and take a peek at her without getting up and walking across the living room to open her door and startle her from a perfectly peaceful sleep. but, alas, a video monitor runs around a hundred buckaroos. so here we are nine months later and i have indeed startled a soundly sleeping baby with my need to make sure she was in fact sleeping.

until today!!! i was able to snag a summer infant video monitor for a mere...are you ready...$40!!! craigslist is my new best friend.

i immediately hooked the monitor up and adjusted the camera just perfectly over the crib. then it was time for bug to go to bed. usually i enjoy bedtime. we read, we sing, we pray and then i can spend some time with my honey bear, playing around on the internet, or catching up on some dvr. but tonight i spent the first 30 or so minutes watching bug on the monitor. i had to laugh at myself. i have made it to the part of the day that is mine and i choose to watch the baby on the monitor.

i couldn't help myself. we have had a simple sound only monitor and all this time it has been quiet aside from some ruffling of the sheet. now i see what is really going on in there. my bug is a wiggler! she was from one end of the crib to the other. it was quite a show! i really couldn't turn it off. and it was oh, so sweet when she finally just plopped her head down and fell asleep.

who needs tv when you can have a baby video monitor?! do you love your video monitor just as much?

not me!

2009-10-12T15:05:00.002-04:00

is here already! where, oh where, does the time go? so join me and many others over at mckmama's blog to share those things that you didn't do this week.

so, anyone who knows me knows how serious i am about my housework. they know that i would not pick something up off the floor and toss it in the direction of behind the couch to keep the baby from putting it in her mouth. not me! i would immediately pull out the vacuum, of course.

i like well balanced meals and certainly did not have a bowl of cocoa pebbles for lunch...and dinner...not me!

i am so sure that there are plenty more not me's that i have done this past week but i cannot seem to think of any today! ;) be sure to go by mckmama's blog to link your not me's!

husbands do the darnedest things

2009-10-09T23:11:00.002-04:00

there is one certain fleece blanket i always use when i cozy up on the couch. it usually just stays out on the couch unless company is coming and i fold it up and put it in the blanket basket. anyway, what i'm trying to say is my cozy fleece blanket is always on the couch.

so honey bear is spending some time with bug and is giving her a bottle while on the sofa. i am doing some cleaning up in the kitchen and i come around the corner just to see how things are going. it is then that i see honey bear wiping bug's milky little mouth on my snuggly fleece. "um, honey bear," i say, "the blanket if for snuggling. that is why we have a bajillion bibs and burp clothes." honey bear just as calm and cool as can be responded with,

"yea, you weren't supposed to see this."

what a hoot!!! i laughed heartily. he is such a dork. and i love him oh so very very much.

thumbs up thursday

2009-10-08T21:44:00.004-04:00

i have been thinking about different topics to blog about. i don't want to always be serious and i don't always want to drivel on about what bug is doing every second. so i have come up with thumbs up thursday for now. i am going to use thursdays to tell you about things that i like, that i use around the house that make my days easier, that are must haves for buggie, or ideas and/or events and occasions that deserve a thumbs up. you get the idea - if it is something i like i will tell you about it on thursday. i think some giveaways will be grand and appropriate as well! and i want to hear from you, too! you can do a post on your own blog or you can simply leave your thumbs up in the comments section here.

so to christen thumbs up thursday i will tell you about something that has uncomplicated my mornings (or afternoons - whenever i get around to it). it is a hairstyle that is so simple and looks pretty cute, too. on long hair or short, the bang french braid is just oh so cute and, more importantly, oh so easy.

sure, you say, it looks good on her, she is jennifer aniston. i would bet a potato sack would look good on her. true, true. but i am not a betting woman. and if i was i would bet the bang french braid would look good on YOU, too! it takes only seconds, maybe a full minute, and you have a super cute look that can be dressed up for church or just right for playing with the little ones. i am trying to grow my hair out and this braid has been great for my in between bangs. give it a try and let me know if you do!

me sporting the bang french braid

is there anything you have discovered this week that deserves a thumbs up? is there anything you have known about for a while that deserves a thumbs up? let us know! you can write your own blog post about it or share it here in the comments section!

and just to give you a heads up (or a thumbs up), next thursday i plan to do a giveaway of my thumbs up recommendation!!!

wordless wednesday - french fry edition

2009-10-07T20:50:00.002-04:00

pop!

2009-10-06T20:19:00.004-04:00

i'll tell ya, i have been plagued by sinus yuck about 3 or 4 times already this season and i am t.i.r.e.d. of it! doesn't the day seem extra long when you can't breathe out of your nose? i think it does. last night i took some nyquil and boy did it ever work. when i woke up this morning i felt like i needed about 7 more hours of sleep. needless to say, that was not possible.

so i have been in my pjs all day long and i am not ashamed. i have spent just as much time laying on the floor as bug has playing on it. and that girl has been so good today. she took two great naps and has played quite happily. the evenings are always a bit more harried. i don't know what it is about 5 o'clock but she just gets cranky. the crankiness sets in right about the time honey bear gets home from work. he thinks it is him. i assure him it isn't.

bug is playing for a few more minutes right now and then off to bed. in my selfishness i try to keep a really sleepy little girl up until 9 when she is good and ready for bed by 8. i like the extra sleep in the morning.

i will leave you tonight with a picture that i think is too cute. bug always gets this funny look on her face when you put something on her head. it is so adorable that i don't think your lives could be complete without seeing it. =) see you tomorrow - assuming my head doesn't pop!

certainly not me!

2009-10-05T16:58:00.003-04:00

i decided to join mckmama (and many others) today for...

you know, that time of the week when we can admit without admitting our shortcuts or shortcomings from the past week? after your stop here you should head on over to mckmama's blog and catch up on some others.

i totally didn't buy a box of hair color this weekend. there would be no need to do such a thing because i don't have one gray hair throughout my lovely dark locks. nope, not me!

when it comes to cleaning i would never take a shortcut and spray down the bathroom floor with windex and then wipe it up with paper towels on my feet just because it seemed like a lot more fun than mopping and i hate mopping.

i would never neglect my weekly menu planning and grocery shopping day after day so the only option at the last minute would be eating out. in this recession absolutely not me!

i never get overwhelmed with stay at home mommydom. so i simply couldn't have handed my screaming nine month old daughter to my husband with a declaration of "i quit!" that would be absurd, not me!

and i can't imagine not having my every day planned perfectly so that it would be unnecessary to put said nine month old in her exersaucer in front of nick jr so i can get my not me monday post typed up. never! not me!

looking forward to catching up on what you didn't do this past week!

thank goodness...

2009-10-02T22:29:00.004-04:00

it is friday! though i have to admit that since i have been a mommy fridays don't really mean the same thing they used to. it used to mean a day off and sleeping in. now i don't even know what a day off is or how to sleep in. but this saturday nana has offered to keep bug for the day so i will say hello to my old friend day off and we will practice sleeping in - or at least napping.

bug's 9 month well check went...well! she is doing just marvelously. she weighed in at 19 lbs 12.5 oz and 27 inches long. and her head is in the whopping 75th percentile! just like her mama (i think i have mentioned my big head before). she had only one vaccination and didn't make a peep when the nurse stuck her. that is a first. we usually get quite the shrill scream when she gets her shots. the doctor did try to convince me of the positive effects of the flu shot - and i almost gave in - but in the end i stood strong and she didn't get one. our next check up is in 3 months...she will be a YEAR old!!! where has my itty bitty 5 pound baby gone?

my sister in love had us over for dinner tonight. that was a great treat. i love when someone else cooks and does the dishes. she made this oh so yummy baked potato casserole and i loved it so much that i wanted to link the recipe for all of you. this is definitely not a weight loss dish. but it is so good it makes your tongue want to beat your brains out! let me know if you try it.

emeril legasse's twice baked potato casserole

you will see me back around here on monday. i am working on a giveaway so be sure to stay tuned!

this post is linked at the grocery cart challenge recipe swap.

to vaccinate or not to vaccinate, that is the question

2009-10-01T13:06:00.005-04:00

it is that time again - well baby check up time. bug goes in tomorrow for her 9 month well baby check and this eve of check up day is not unlike all the others. i dread it. i cry. i pray. i wonder if i am doing the right thing. we have had bug vaccinated on schedule up to this point, but every time she is due for her next dose i start to contemplate not doing it.

i have read soooo much on the topic of vaccines. the thing is i can be swayed either way. if i read something against vaccines i agree. if i read something promoting vaccines i agree. there is just so much stuff out there. we decided to vaccinate on schedule feeling the benefits outweigh the risks. but i will tell you, that girl is bathed in prayer the day before and day of her vaccinations.

we have decided that this month will be bug's last dose of on schedule vaccines. we will delay the mmr due at her 12 month check up. i am not sure how long we will delay it. maybe you know about delayed schedules and can offer some input. i do know that having the mmr in three separate vaccines seems to be recommended but our pediatrician does not offer this option. we will be forgoing the chicken pox vaccine all together unless bug doesn't contract chicken pox by the age of 10. at that time we will have her vaccinated.

oh, there will be no flu shot - swine or otherwise.

the medical responsibility of having a child feels like, possibly, the most overwhelming part of parenting. i want nothing but the absolute best for her and her body. i hate all of the conflicting information out there. i support all parent's decisions they make in regard to vaccinating. they all only want the best for their little ones.

what are your vaccination decisions? do you stress about it as much as i do?

wordless wednesday

2009-09-30T22:16:00.002-04:00

gray hair is a blessing...

2009-09-29T11:01:00.004-04:00

sorry i have been gone so long. it has been a busy few days with the death of my uncle and a trip to pennsylvania for the funeral. but i am back home now and trying to get back into the swing of things...ugh, the housework that awaits.

it has come to my attention this weekend that a serious infiltration of evil has made its way into my home and person. my lovely dark locks are being invaded by silver monsters! scary, wiry monsters. why does this gray hair cause me such stress? i am 27 years old. i feel 17. but i suppose the fact of the matter is i am indeed aging. blah!

i do find the silver hair shown here to be quite lovely...on her!

while i would like to grow old gracefully and fully embrace every single gray hair and line in my face, i am finding that a hard feat. i had this wild idea that i would remain 20 forever while the others around me grew older. since this does not seem to be the case i will for now simply enjoy still being in my twenties (if only for...ahem...3 more years) and will be heading out to buy a box of hair color this evening!!! and i will make this my new mantra:

gray hair is a blessing - ask a bald man.

what do i know?

2009-09-22T22:23:00.005-04:00

my uncle is very near death. it may even be tonight. as an adult i haven't been extremely close to him. i do see him when i visit home and at holidays. but i remember him being around quite often as i was growing up. i remember trading cds with him and the pizza game he gave me and my sister for christmas one year. while i was in college he bought me a george forman grill - i think he may have been more excited about that than i was, he LOVES his steak!

with the news of his impending death i have been flooded with these memories and with the usual thoughts of death one ponders when it is thrust into their life. the strongest feeling i have is that death sucks. i can't make it sound any better because it isn't. and there is a reason for that,

for the wages of sin is death...romans 6:23a

we are sinners and we deserve nothing more than the grave and hell. what my uncle is facing we all must face because of adam's sin. and it would be just if that is where it ended. but the verse doesn't end here. what joy,

for the wages of sin is death BUT THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD. romans 6:23

we deserve death and hell, but God loves us so much he sent His only Son to DIE for us. i will never get over the fact that Jesus Christ has, too, suffered death. He knows just how much it sucks. and our Heavenly Father knows the pain of watching someone you love die. Jesus didn't only suffer the agony of a physical death but He also took the punishment meant for us in Hell. He paid the price of our sin so we don't have to. the hymn it is well with my soul has a glorious verse that goes like this,

my sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin NOT IN PART BUT THE WHOLE, is nailed to the cross and i bear it no more PRAISE THE LORD it is well with my soul.

how can i ever get over this?! i simply can't. my sin has been covered by the blood. but the fact remains that we all must still suffer a physical death. it isn't meant to be pleasant but it doesn't have to fill us with fear. we will not be left in the grave. our Savior has conquered death and the grave,

o death, where is thy sting? o grave, where is thy victory? the sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law.but thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 corinthians 15:55-57

i am confident that my uncle knows the Savior of his soul. i am confident that when my uncle closes his eyes in death he will open them in Glory. we will all hurt and mourn when he goes, but we, too, will rejoice knowing that he is in the presence of the King. and i am sure my sweet grandma is waiting at the gate for his arrival!

I have a friend who just turned eighty-eight
and she just shared with me that she's afraid of dying.
I sit here years from her experience
and try to bring her comfort.
I try to bring her comfort
But what do I know? What do I know?
She grew up singing about the glory land,
and she would testify how Jesus changed her life.
It was easy to have faith when she was thirty-four,
but now her friends are dying, and death is at her door.
And what do I know? What do I know?

Well,I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

She lost her husband after sixty years,
and as he slipped away she still had things to say.
Death can be so inconvenient.
You try to live and love. It comes and interrupts.
And what do I know? What do I know?

Well,I don't know that there are harps in heaven,
Or the process for earning your wings.
And I don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels,
Or any of these things.

But I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be pretty good.
Oh, I know to be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord,
and from what I know of him, that must be very good.

-what do i know, sara groves

losing battle

2009-09-18T22:17:00.003-04:00

today has been one of those days. i woke up with a headache that i just couldn't shake. and, to be expected when i'm not feeling well, bug decided 20 minutes was a long enough nap. my armor was down today and the enemy saw a chance to attack.

i have been seriously bombarded today with crazy attacks by satan. he is swift and strong in battle. he knows where my vulnerable spots are and sends his troops straight to those areas. i have been shot at today with thoughts of inadequacy, feelings of no purpose, a sense of failure as a mommy, and doubts about my husband's happiness in our relationship. and instead of retreating to the tent to regroup and plan out my attack i raised the white flag of surrender. i did not turn to the General of my life. i did not look at the well established Strategy that the General has prepared. i simply gave up and accepted the attacks. i believed the lies. and i missed out on the victory of a battle won.

fortunately the General, my Heavenly Father, is not dishonorably discharging me. quite the opposite. He is allowing me to continue in the fight. and He has reminded me tonight when i finally picked my wounded heart up and made it back to the tent that i am not in this alone and it is only when i think i am that i am defeated.

but the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.
2 thessalonians 3:3

and thanks to a holy God who has already won the war even though i may lose some of the battles.

and they have conquered him (satan) by the blood of the Lamb... revelation 12:11a

so tomorrow i will prepare myself for the battle and will not allow the enemy's lies and attacks take me down. satan's attacks can do no harm when i'm calling on Jesus Christ!

finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. for we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. in all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. ephesians 6:10-18a

backwards scooter

2009-09-17T23:23:00.004-04:00

my sweet bug is the ripe old age of 8 months and is now realizing that she can move around by herself. she is doing very well getting up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. however, she has yet to crawl. instead she plops herself onto her belly and scoots...backwards! i'll tell ya, that backwards scooting can get you places...usually in trouble. bug often finds that she has scooted herself right under the coffee table or under a chair. until she realizes she is stuck in a precarious position she is quite the happy girl. see, she is looking at me the whole time she is scooting farther and farther away. she thinks all is well because she can see mommy...until she scoots herself right up against a wall and mommy is clear across the room.

bug starting to get the hang of this mobility thing

bug's backward scooting reminded me of how i so often backwards scoot away from the Lord. though unlike bug, i know as i am looking at Him that i am moving farther away and will eventually end up stuck under a chair or with my back against the wall. i get to a place in my spiritual life where all seems well. i am talking daily with God; reading His Word; relying fully on Him. i am looking Him straight in the eye, smiling, and then begins the scooting. i slack off on my praying, i start reading the Word every other day, i start worrying. i keep scooting until i haven't spoken to the Lord in days, my Bible has a layer of dust on it, and i am overwhelmed by worry. things seemed great but then i realize i have scooted myself right up against a wall and the Father is clear across the room.

i know that bug has gotten herself stuck because i have been lovingly watching her the whole time. as soon as she realizes it and calls out for me i am right there to turn her around and pick her up. we start again. i set her on a better course. our Heavenly Father does the same for us. when i have shamefully let my relationship with Him get backed against the wall He is right there when i call out ready to turn me around and pick me up. no matter how many times bug needs to be pulled out from under the table i will do it - just as God will never leave me, no matter how many times i back myself against the wall.

and just as bug will eventually learn to crawl forward, i hope that one day i, too, will no longer be a backwards scooter. i hope that i will not only always crawl forward to the Father but that i will constantly be running to Him!

fever

2009-09-16T00:09:00.006-04:00

of the baby kind...as in baby fever. i go through this about every other week. i am so in love with my little bug and she is growing up so fast. i already miss my itty bitty baby. today i want to have another baby, now. i want to be pregnant and wear maternity clothes and pick out crib bedding and read pregnancy books. i want a new little delicious baby to snuggle on and love on and smell and feed and dress. i want bug to have a brother or sister close in age so they can be the best of friends and always have each other.

honey bear and i at 33 weeks - bug decided to arrive 2 weeks later!

so at this moment my loins are desperately yearning to bring forth more fruit. will this notion last until morning? it is hard to tell. sometimes it goes on for days; other times it lasts only minutes. sometimes being mommy gets a bit overwhelming and sleep inducing. oh, but i wouldn't go back to the days without her for anything!!!

i do know that i hope the Lord does see fit to gift us with another little love in the future. i will leave the timing up to Him. i guess if i leave it up to Him it may be inappropriate to tell Him to hurry up, right? =)

how long did you wait to add to your family? should i put a muzzle on my loins or grant them freedom of speech?

our first family picture - the day bug was born

who am i?

2009-09-14T22:41:00.003-04:00

tomorrow i will join with kate mcrae's family and hundreds of others in fasting at the feet of Jesus. kate is a sweet 5 year old little girl battling a brain tumor. her parents have asked for others who are willing to fast and pray for kate this week as they prepare for an mri on wednesday to see what progress, if any, kate's chemo is having on her tumor.

as i have been preparing myself for tomorrow the enemy has definitely been at work around here. i have been bombarded with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. why do i think that any pleading i do to the Lord will have any affect on little kate's life? there are hundreds of others that will be fasting and praying for kate - many who are most likely farther in their christian walk than i. surely their prayers will be regarded higher than mine. and why would the God of the universe give a flip about what i have to say? my tears at His feet can easily be dismissed.

but then i remember what He has promised:

whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. john 14:13-14

the verse doesn't say, "whatever a very important person asks," it says, "whatever YOU ask." that YOU means ME! so there is no misunderstanding, this verse says that He will do whatever i ask, but there are times when what i ask for is not what i get or what happens. has Jesus lied? no, of course not. when we ask for something we must do so in faith, believing God can do it, and we must pray with realization that God will answer according to His will. there are times when our wills are not His will for a particular situation. that should absolutely not stop me from praying for a certain outcome!

now i am reminded that Jesus tells me to ask, but i still don't feel worthy to go before Him with such an important petition. sure, i have gone before Him with prayers for car repairs or financial needs, but this will be my first serious pleading for a life. i have prayed for healing on behalf of others, but i have to be honest, this fast for kate is the first i have ever done. this little girl's life is weighing so heavy on my heart...i feel the need to do all i can. but i feel as though God is saying, "who do you think you are?" then i go to hebrews 4:16:

let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

i should go before the King with confidence! i am told by the author of hebrews to do just that. be confident. i do not have to be mother teresa to be heard by God. i have to be just who i am, a daughter of the King. going before the King with confidence takes me back to that sweet jewish girl, hadassah, who you may know as queen esther. she went before the king on behalf of her people and he listened to her and showed them mercy. how much more King Jesus loves me than this earthly king loved esther. He will surely hear my cries on behalf of kate.

so tomorrow i will humble myself before the ever great Physician and pray with a broken but believing heart for Him to heal kate. He tells me to do just that. and so i will obey. and i will submit to whatever His will is for kate, knowing that His ways are not my ways and that His way is ALWAYS best.

please consider carrying kate before the Lord in fasting and prayer this week.

prayforkate.com

blinded

2009-09-11T23:06:00.003-04:00

a little break today from women's issues.

a song i have loved for a while is i believe in love by barlowgirl. it is a really beautiful song to listen to, but when you really pay attention to the words it goes to a whole new level. and as i think about what happened in our country eight years ago today i imagine there are many who have felt exactly what this song speaks of. if you get a chance try to listen to the song. i think you can find it on youtube. i am going to simply post the lyrics. maybe these words will meet you where you are now.

God is there and God is good even when i cannot see Him or His goodness!

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my story's ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe.
I believe

no higher calling

2009-09-10T23:10:00.008-04:00

i have had a lot of thoughts and ideas and scripture swirling around in my little ~~head~~ brain (my head is actually quite large) about being a woman and what the Lord has said my role is as a woman. i thought i could address it all in one post but realized it will be much more understandable if i break the topics up into several posts. this first post will discuss women and pregnancy.

i was asked just the other day why i am so passionate when it comes to the topic of birth control and pregnancy and women having babies in general. until i was asked that question i don't think i realized i was so passionate about it. but i am glad i was asked - it caused me to really think about why i feel the way i do about this great gift we have been given as women.

you will remember my little rant on contraception here. it seems with the announcement from a certain well known family about the expecting of their 19th child the birth control topic keeps peaking its head around the corner. what i have found coming from many, often the very women that fight for the right for women to have complete control over their own reproduction decisions, is that this family needs to throw in the towel. apparently a woman has a right to choose unless her choice is to have more children than you think she should.

this generation is all about Me and I - and a great deal of that focus on self is among young women. i will further my education, i will climb the corporate ladder, i will be just as good as any man at the job i choose to do and be paid accordingly. that is great! i encourage young women to set out with big goals and dreams. but there are some choices i do not agree with. i will date many men, i will give myself intimately to whomever i choose, i will not be inconvenienced by a child. i find it pretty naive to think that you can have a physical relationship with a man while not being ready to be a mom. God's Word tells us, first of all, to refrain from an intimate relationship outside of marriage.

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. I Corinthians 6:18

i am of the opinion that any time you are intimate with a man you are saying loud and clear that you are fine with the possibility of becoming a parent. but young women today are bombarded with television commercials about every type of birth control there is and even a "morning after" pill. it is not necessary to interrupt your life with a baby. enjoy sex without the responsibility.

women now are often looked down upon if they choose to become mothers in their early twenties. my grandmother had 3 children by the time she was in her early twenties. true, it was a different time, but motherhood was looked upon as a goal - an ambition. it was something to be acquired, not put off. in today's world to choose contraception or even abortion is looked upon as having goals and ambitions.

young women today take motherhood for granted. it is something they will get to when they feel they have gotten all out of social and business life that they hope to attain. if a pregnancy happens before it was planned - no worries - they have the right to choose. and if they never get to have babies, oh well, it is not necessary to define who they are. i am not talking now about those women who the Lord has chosen to remain single or even those married women who have not been able to conceive. the Lord does choose different types of mothering roles for these women (being 'mothers' to children in their churches/neighborhoods, adopting, etc). but here is the key, there are mothering roles for all women!

God has created our bodies to do something truly amazing. we can, by God's hand, grow a life inside of us. we birth that life into the world. we then are charged with their care as they grow. how amazing! i think of the way our Savior chose to come into this world. BORN as a BABY to a human mother!!! wow. of all the ways the King of Kings could've come to this world and he chose BIRTH. now, i realize there are prophecies that were being fulfilled, but He knew what He was doing.

i don't know if it is because i am now a mother myself, but i have come to realize that being a mom is a calling! it is a gift! i believe it is why we as women were created. again, many women are not able to bare their own children or will remain single but the Lord has a role for them as well that is no less as important and will influence little lives just the same.

i just see many young women running from this amazing calling thinking it will get in the way of their ambitions. why is motherhood not just as noble an ambition? why do so many want only worldly selfish pleasures?

i believe God tells women exactly what our earthly role should look like in Proverbs 31. the proverbs 31 woman is industrious, business minded, and a MOTHER.

many women are so quick to proclaim their "rights." i came across this quote and really couldn't have said it better myself, "of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." what greater influence can we have than the influence we have on our children for Christ? let us embrace this amazing calling God has given us. let us not run from blessings in the form of children.

new mum mum winner

2009-09-10T22:35:00.002-04:00

since the first winner never claimed their box of baby mum mums i used random.org to choose a new winner...

CARISSA!

carissa, just email me your address at datesdiapersdeity@yahoo.com and i will get the mum mums to you.

working on the first post of a series i plan to do on a woman's role/"rights." should be up some time tonight...

housekeeping

2009-09-07T21:55:00.005-04:00

i need to get a new post up here. i have been working on a couple of ideas but they are not yet post worthy. i will definitely have something new up this week!

also, you will remember my giveaway. well, karie won that giveaway but has, as of right now, not claimed her prize. so, karie, you have until wednesday sept. 9 at 5 pm est time to email me and claim your box of baby mum mums or i will choose a new winner. datesdiapersdeity@yahoo.com

glad to have a couple of new readers out there. stay tuned for a post on women's rights!

pray without ceasing...unless everything is ok

2009-09-05T13:40:00.003-04:00

for the past day and half i have had some sort of stomach bug. i will be honest, i am a weenie when my tummy is sick. so i have spent much much time in prayer asking the Lord to take the yuckiness away. anytime i was just feeling really bad or i thought about the sickness i would pray for God's healing.

today i feel great! completely back to normal. and i have prayed a total of...well... zero times. yep, i couldn't stop talking to God when i needed Him to do something for me, but now that those prayers have been answered i'll talk to Him when i get a chance. i am ashamed of myself. if i was treated that way by honey bear or any other person that claims to be a friend or even family i would be none to pleased. but it is the exact way i treat my heavenly Father. glad He's there when i need Him but too busy to even say good morning when all is well.

the key here is that i ALWAYS need Him. there is not a moment in my life, good or bad, when i do not need the Lord. anything good is from Him and by Him so how do i so easily leave Him out during those joyous times?

what a patient Father. though He doesn't hear from me for a couple of days He is right there ready to answer when i call out to Him for help. i deserve absolutely none of His mercy and grace yet He so freely offers it - even when i don't ask. i long for the closeness to the Father that daily prayer brings. it is but myself that keeps me from that sweet relationship and those tender moments. may i start treating my best Friend as such - may i start giving the Creator of the universe and Lover of my soul the respect He so greatly deserves.

goodbye summer wordless wednesday

2009-09-02T21:56:00.002-04:00

and the winner is...

2009-09-02T11:49:00.004-04:00

KARIE!!!

this was my first giveaway and i have to say i had great fun doing it. i must do it again. entries were low but i am so pleased to have had any at all!!! i chose a winner using random.org. so, really i didn't do the choosing - they did.

so, karie, just send me your address at this email address and i will get a box of baby mum mums to you! datesdiapersdeity@yahoo.com

bug enjoying a mum mum

thank you all for participating. looking forward to the next giveaway.

you can never have too much butter...

2009-09-01T23:48:00.005-04:00

but you can have too much of some other stuff - like a poor attitude. i must admit that i am ashamed of a lot of my behavior today. i would like to blame it on ADD or the devil, but alas it is simply my human nature - my sinful human nature that i allowed to take over by not calling on Jesus today.

nothing really horrible even went on today but i was very quick tempered. and we all know who that temper was thrown at, right? yes, my ever sweet, mild mannered, never raises his voice honey bear. he made plans that i probably wouldn't have made - i am short with him. he doesn't come to the table for dinner when i call - i raise my voice with sarcasm. poor guy couldn't get a break today. and what does he do in retaliation? get this, he asks his mom to watch buggie for us so he can take me to see julie & julia because he knows i have been aching to see it and that i haven't been out of the house for 2 days. the nerve of that guy, right?! he never throws an insult my way. his voice is never raised among a normal conversational decibel.

you know how marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church? marriage is a little taste of how Jesus loves us? well, honey bear has shown me a sliver of that love for sure. when i see the way he responds to my sinfulness i am reminded of how the Savior responds to me. of course, the realization isn't immediate. i see it later after i have calmed down and seen the error of my ways. i guess i just love seeing Jesus in our lives. i do wish that i didn't have to be an ogre to see Him! but He is always reminding me of His great love and forgiveness.

yes, i apologized and asked for honey bear's forgiveness. he always tells me he has already forgiven me but is glad that i have asked. we hug and then spend some sweet time together in each others arms. i'm pretty sure it is a lot the same with the Savior.

i am most positive that my lack of communication with God today threw a big wrench into my attitude. that alone time with just me and Him is so important, yet i so often neglect it. the enemy is sure to achieve much when i have no armor to fight against him. i am looking forward to some time with the Lord and to a better, sweeter tomorrow.

baby mum mums and a giveaway!

2009-08-31T12:28:00.003-04:00

i love mckmama's blogfrog forum (minus the negative posts that i avoid). i have gotten some great advice from some seasoned mama's over there. just the other day i posted about some concerns i had with giving bug solids. i had quite a few replies that offered encouragement and tips. one of those tips - baby mum mums.

i have been giving bug teething biscuits. you know, bitter, hard, cookie like biscuits that leave a huge mess all over bug and what/whoever she may be sitting on or near. some moms on blogfrog suggested baby mum mums. i had never heard of them or ever seen them. i happened upon them while grocery shopping this weekend and picked up a box. they are fantastic! they do not leave the cookie like mess and they dissolve really nicely so i don't worry about a chunk being swallowed and choking buggie.

i like these things so much i want to share them with you! i receive nothing from the official baby mum mum people. i just want you to know how great they are. so, all you have to do is leave a comment on this post and you're entered. and if you're a follower you can have an extra entry! just post a second comment telling me you're a follower of my blog.

happy commenting!

undeserving

2009-08-29T23:44:00.003-04:00

the past couple of days i have come across some new blogs. i have read some really heart wrenching stories. i have prayed for strangers. i have questioned God's actions. i have praised God for His holiness. i have realized all is for His glory. and many of these ~~stories~~ children of God are weighing heavily on my heart. this post may be a little bit of a ramble. just trying to unload a bit.

as i have read the stories of 4 month olds taken by SIDS, or starving AIDS infected children in africa, or little 5 year old girls stricken with brain tumors i have become ever closer to my Savior. i have gone to Him on behalf of these brothers and sisters that i have never met and asked Him to please spare lives and bring healing. i have asked Him why he chose to take a perfectly healthy sleeping baby from his dear parents. i have worked on accepting that His way is perfect and good though it may hurt. and i have sat in wonder of why He has given me so much. i take for granted the good in my life. God's mercy has kept us from any life shaking horrible tragedies but i spend much time complaining that i don't have the right shoes to wear with a new skirt. good grief! what is wrong with me?

Father, forgive me for taking all the good in my life for granted. Forgive me for taking You and the gift of Your Son and eternal life for granted. help me to live each day only for You. in Jesus' name because without Him it would be impossible for me to come to You, amen.

Lord, i give You my heart
i give You my soul
I LIVE FOR YOU ALONE
every breath that i take
every moment i'm awake
have Your way in me

what, exactly, does your appendix do?

2009-08-27T22:38:00.003-04:00

today we got a phone call that my sweet brother in love (bil) had to have an emergency appendectomy. poor guy was up all night in some pretty bad pain. bil is married to honey bear's sister ang. they are so dear to us and totally in love with buggie. we have dubbed bil the dinner time bouncer - see, whenever we are out to dinner with the whole family bil is bug's buddy. he walks her, he bounces her, he keeps her occupied. i will have to post one of the many pictures of bil and bug's dinner time playdates soon.

anyhoo, i knew that honey bear and i would go to the hospital to visit with him this evening and that bug wouldn't be able to go in. so i had to come up with a way for bug to say hello to her uncle. here is what we came up with:

we printed it at walmart and bought a simple plastic frame and tied some get well balloons around it. i really couldn't believe how great it turned out - and this was only our second take! needless to say, unlce bil loved it. he will be home tomorrow and we are looking forward to him feeling better.

all i want for christmas...

2009-08-26T22:10:00.004-04:00

this morning was just like any other morning. i got bug up, changed her, gave her breakfast, and we settled down on the couch to watch rachael ray. buggie was sitting right beside me and i had my arm around her. she has found it great sport to chew on mommy's hand and fingers; so this morning my fingers could be found in her little mouth. it was during this usual chewing of my digits that i felt something...what did she have in her mouth? oh my goodness...a tooth...no, wait...not one tooth...there were TWO TEETH!

*not bug's actual teeth*

yes, ladies and gentleman, my sweet, tiny, precious buggie now has big girl teeth! i am so proud of her and yet so sad...

where is that 5 pound 13 ounce little baby girl i held in my arms just yesterday?

more importantly, how will my fingers hold up?

the time traveler's wife

2009-08-25T21:50:00.005-04:00

if you haven't seen the time traveler's wife and plan to, don't read this until you do!!! if you don't plan to ever see it you may still enjoy this post!

i had mentioned that my sister had been staying with us for a couple of weeks. we loved having her but me and honey bear really had no alone time. and then i was leaving to take her back to pa and would be away from honey bear all together. so we talked to my in laws and they agreed to keep bug and allow my sister to swim in their pool on the saturday before i left for pa. honey bear and i were going out! we decided to see the matinee showing of the time traveler's wife.

i have to admit that i was really really really looking forward to seeing this movie. the previews i had seen looked so good. i was definitely in the mood for some sappy movie watching with my sweetie. the movie was good but not as good as i had built it up to be in my head. but isn't it sometimes funny how God works? at the end of the movie He reminded me of His promises to us.

here i was wrapped up in this love story - the time traveling henry and the love of his life, clare, who has known the 40ish version of henry since she was 6 years old. they finally meet in the present and marry. they have a daughter. henry still time travels and they try to cope with his unpredictable absences. henry from another time has traveled into their present and is dying. they now know henry will die when their daughter is 5. we see their daughter's 5th birthday and know what is about to happen. years later henry time travels past his own life and is able to see his now 10 or so year old daughter and to hold his clare again. but then he travels right out of her arms and is gone.

it is at this point in the movie when the sobbing begins...clare and her daughter head back home. with smiles on their faces. this man who means so much to them has died but they know that because of this gift/curse henry will most likely come to them again. they can go on living their present lives because they have hope of seeing henry again. i easily start thinking of my own honey bear and how i dread the day that we will be parted by death. how horrible it will be; how we will not have the luxury of time travel to bring us together again. and then that Still Small Voice reminds me of His great promise!

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
first thessalonians 4:13-18

of course!!! we have trusted Jesus Christ - we will not be parted forever. no time travel ability required. clare may have had hope that henry would return to her at some point during her life - but she had no hope past her life. one day honey bear and i will be parted by death, and like clare we will be able to go on knowing at some point we will be reunited. but unlike clare, our reunion will not be for mere minutes but for eternity!

how great and merciful is our Lord - He has offered us a gift far above all gifts. the gift of eternal life. praise His name forever and ever!

theory of relativity

2009-08-21T23:26:00.011-04:00

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.”
~Albert Einstein

einstein pretty much summed up my week with that explanation of the theory of relativity. so, i haven't been sitting with a pretty girl, but i have been sitting with 10 pretty girls and 2 handsome boys - my family. and boy, einstein, are you right! the week has just flown by and i have failed to keep you all updated on the happenings around here.

it is late, i am blissfully tired and i don't think a full post will be happening tonight. let me just leave you with a funny little story about a day out with some of my little sisters.

i took 3 of my little sisters an hour away to visit our aunt and uncle. sb, who is 8 had been looking through a bridal catalogue and putting check marks over all the dresses she thought were pretty. when she was done she passed the book on to lr who is 10. as lr flipped through the pages noticing the check marks she said, "boy, sb, you didn't put many check marks in here. you don't have very good taste in fashion," to which sb quickly replied, "i don't EAT fashion!" get it - taste, eat? ha!!! it cracked me up! i sure do love these girls. they make me look forward to the days buggie will be cracking jokes.

i probably won't be posting again until we are back home in nc on monday. as much as i enjoy being with my family it will be nice to get back to my own bed. be looking forward to a post about the new movie the time traveler's wife.

until this yankee makes it back to her southern home, happy blogging!

leavin' on a jetplane

2009-08-17T21:46:00.006-04:00

okay, maybe i'm just leavin' in a toyota corolla. the point here is that i'm leaving. or that i have left. i drove from nc to pa today. what a looooong day! my 2nd youngest sister, jb, (i'm the oldest of 10) graduated in june and she decided she wanted to spend some of her first 'adult' summer with us. my family lives in pa so i drove her home today.

jb has been with us for about 3 weeks and i really hate that today was the day to take her home. it has been so nice to have her around. i really love spending my days with bug, but she doesn't offer much in the way of conversation. we usually talk about dadadadadadad and babamababamamaba. so having jb here was really nice - she can form complete words. =)

i think what was really great about jb being with us was that i really hadn't spent much time with her for the past 9 years. i left pa to go to college in sc in 2000 and i ended up staying south after graduation. jb was only 9 when i left. you can imagine that at 18 she isn't exactly the same person i remember. sure, i've been home for various holidays, but 2 weeks here and 3 days there is hardly enough time to really know someone. so this past couple of weeks has been a sort of get to know you for us sisters. we are absolutely and completely different! no doubt about it. but let me share with you some of the really wonderful things about my second little sister that i discovered the past couple of weeks:

she is stinkin' hilarious

she doesn't care what anyone thinks about her - totally comfortable with who she is

she is so shy! i had no idea. it is funny to me because she will talk my ear off.

she has the absolute sweetest spirit of anyone i know - so kind, always ready to do whatever is best for the other person, always in a pleasant mood (really, not one time in 3 weeks did i see her in a funk, not once)

she so sincerely and genuinely loves Jesus - her only desire is to do what is pleasing to Him- she was a real example and rebuke to me

i just wish you all had a chance to get to know her! i am so looking forward to the next time she decides she wants to visit.

and now, bug and i are in pa visiting with my family until sunday. honey bear is flying in on thursday morning (YIPEEEE!!! i miss him terribly and it has only been 14 hours). i plan to do some blogging while i'm here. with a house full of kids (my 7 month old bug, and sisters 18, 16, 12, 10, 8, 5, and 1 and a brother who is 2 and my 1st younger sister 25 visiting with her 3 and 2 year old girls) and my parents i should have some stories to tell....

*picture is jb and me on my wedding day in 2006*

rockabye baby

2009-08-15T23:25:00.004-04:00

yesterday i told you i would post pictures of bug's room. i did all of the decorating on a pretty strict budget. i was able to find the crib on craigslist for only $90 and i found the changing table at a consignment shop for $40. the dresser was used by bug's daddy and her daddy's sister at some point. i am really happy with how it turned out! instead of posting 34 individual photos on the blog i am going to post one and then give you a link to check out the rest. the others are on my facebook but you don't have to have a facebook to view the album. i hope you will take the time to go give them a look!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=300959&id=692745726&l=ac3ef86ff4

let's share

2009-08-14T09:47:00.003-04:00

when my daughter was born we lived in a one bedroom apartment so she slept in our room for the first six months of her life. we have lived in our 2 bedroom apartment for about a month now and i am pleased to announce that bug has her own room that i have finally completely decorated!

i thought it would be fun to share pictures of our little one's spaces. i haven't actually taken any pictures yet so let's plan on sharing our pictures tomorrow. i just love babies' rooms and nurseries. i like seeing how others have decorated and getting new ideas for future decorating opportunities!

so i will meet you all back here tomorrow with pictures of buggie's room and i look forward to seeing your sweet ones' bed chambers. =)

and while we're on the topic of decorating - how do you like the new look of my blog? i am quite pleased with it myself.

grace that is greater...

2009-08-12T16:40:00.003-04:00

i had mentioned a few days ago that i wanted to talk about the greatest gift i have ever received. today is the day...grace is that gift!

i often struggle with the remembrance of past sin. the memories often creep up at the most inappropriate times - while enjoying an evening with my husband, while alone with the Lord during my quiet time. i often can't seem to escape the thoughts of things i have done to disappoint my Lord.

it has taken me years, and i still have not passed the test, to learn that these constant reminders of my human nature are not coming from God. He doesn't even remember them. i allow the enemy to swoop in and fill my mind and heart with shame and guilt for things that Jesus has already covered with His blood. these beautiful words are from a hymn that is very dear to my heart:

Marvelous grace of our loving Lord, 
grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt! 
Yonder on Calvary's mount outpoured, 
there where the blood of the Lamb was spilt. 

Grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that will pardon and cleanse within; 
grace, grace, God's grace, 
grace that is greater than all our sin!

when i allow satan to remind me of sin that i have already laid at the foot of the cross i am saying that Jesus must have died in vain; that this forgiveness and grace that He speaks of is for naught. it is like telling the Father, "yeah, yeah, thanks for the forgiveness and everything but i just am not going to let this go."

holding onto sin that has been forgiven not only makes you feel lousy but it impedes your relationship with Jesus from growing and makes you less effective in living your life for Him. the Lord expects confession of sin only once. when He has forgiven, it is sealed. if i lash out at honey bear, ask for his forgiveness, and then every day after ask again and continually feel guilt for my attitude, honey bear and i will come to a dead end in our relationship. i will be so hung up on the past indiscretion that i will put a roadblock in any growth husband and i may have together. i think it works the same way with Jesus. if i refuse to accept His forgiveness and move on i'm blocking any further heart work He can do on me. and in that my Christian walk is halted.

the biggest thing i have come to realize through this is that there is a war going on for my soul. a spiritual war that i can not see but that absolutely does affect me. the enemy has lost my eternal soul to the Father but he so desires to make the earthly life i live as miserable as possible. when he reminds me of the wrongs i have done and tells me there is no way a Holy God could possibly use such a tattered mess of a person and i believe those things, he has won the battle. satan delights in my feelings of guilt. he delights in me thinking i am useless to the Kingdom. i must stand up to the evil one and remind him, "blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered." psalm 32:1

God's grace has covered all the sin i have or ever will commit. i can live peacefully in the knowledge of my faithful God's promise. i can approach the rest of my life knowing that Jesus paid it all!

casting crowns has a song that has been such an encouragement to me as i have struggled with letting go of forgiven sin. i hope that it will speak some truth and comfort to you as well.

it is still monday!

2009-08-10T22:41:00.003-04:00

as i am sure a few of you know, mondays over at mckmama's place are

after you take a peek at my wish-i-could-forget moments, head on over to mckmama's blog and check out hers and hundreds of others! we are not alone!

i absolutely would NEVER wipe my 7 month old down with baby wipes and call it bath time. NOT ME! only full sudsy tubs of warm water and a nice washcloth constitute a bath around here.

i most assuredly would not eat lunch out only to make it home in time to serve my sweet honey bear a frozen pizza for dinner. definitely NOT ME.

i, of course, would not keep my dear family sitting at the table in front of sunday lunch while i freaked out over spilled orange soda on the living room floor, promptly spraying it down with carpet cleaner and scrubbing until i was sure every last drop of orange was gone. the sunday meal would not be cold by the time i made it to the table and my husband and i would not have a conflict of interests over priorities. NOT ME! i am always quite level headed and not at all so concerned with the appearance of my carpets.

and finally, i for sure would not take my laptop into the bathroom and prop it up on the hamper so i could have a little alone blogging time. now that would be ridiculous! so NOT ME.

pressure

2009-08-07T21:13:00.003-04:00

not wife pressure or mommy pressure but sinus pressure! i think my head might explode. so the post i was hoping to get up today will hopefully only be delayed until tomorrow...hopefully.

so until i can breathe from my nose why don't you give this a look. i'm not a tweeter myself but maybe my next little one will be!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/17/earlyshow/leisure/gamesgadgetsgizmos/main5168367.shtml

see you tomorrow, girls!

wordless wednesday...well sorta

2009-08-05T22:51:00.003-04:00

i am no good at not talking! =) so i will post a picture today but i had to tell you that i am working on a post for tomorrow about the most amazing gift i've ever received. i just love talking about it!

until tomorrow my bloggy friends...my wordless wednesday:

is it morning yet?

2009-08-04T23:48:00.003-04:00

what a long day. i had thought about skipping out on posting tonight but i was feeling guilty. i'm not that great in the kitchen but if you need some guilty feelings i'm your girl. we ladies are pretty good at feelings of guilt. i think i'll ponder on that for a bit and come back with a post on that later.

so today - i have been working on filing an amended tax return. ugh! the irs makes me nervous. but i think it is finished. i just hope they agree. and as if taxes weren't enough i think buggie may be cutting a tooth. i can't be sure but she has a clear runny nose and is quite antsy. i think she was running a bit of a fever tonight.

i feel like i didn't get much accomplished today - only one load of laundry, cooked dinner, and for the majority of the day rocked an uncomfortable little girl. come to think of it, rocking that little girl was a pretty big accomplishment!
what sweet moments. well, let's be honest, they didn't always seem so sweet today when i hadn't gotten a chance to shower and i had plenty to do around the house, but looking back on it it was pretty sweet.

i want to thank all of my new followers for deciding to tag along! i love reading your comments and getting a chance to stop by your blogs. i'm looking forward to getting to know more about all of you.

so until tomorrow when i will hopefully have a more interesting post...any tips on comforting a possibly teething little one...please...

how do i look?

2009-08-03T22:47:00.005-04:00

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. -Psalm 139:14

so today honey bear and i went to have our pictures taken for our credit card (we have only one credit card used only when necessary but this is another post). i did not know that i was going to have my picture taken so needless to say i was not pleased with this revelation. i often tell honey bear that i feel like a sausage poured into its casing and today was no different. i am sure my hair was quite a mess and by this time in the day my makeup was next to invisible. fine, i'll have my picture taken - i mean, it is for the security of my identity. of course honey bear commented on what a good picture it was and, bless his heart, jeremiah the bank guy agreed in earnest. i was not convinced.

on the way home i started really thinking about my response to my physical appearance. i am always so quick to say how horrible i look or to point out my various physical flaws. no amount of compliments from husband persuades me otherwise. but today i am jarred out of my self loathing by the oh so sweet cooing and babbles of my little bug. she is undoubtedly the most beautiful baby i have ever seen and i am sure she is going to be the most beautiful toddler, preteen, teenager, and woman i will have ever seen. and i am teaching her just how lovely she is inside and out each day...um...negative.

if all my little buggie hears is how her mommy needs to lose weight, needs to apply her makeup differently, needs a new hairstyle, never says thank you to a compliment about her looks what will she think of herself? how can she have a positive view of her own appearance? i am guessing it won't be easy.

and what am i saying to bug about our Creator? that He left us out of the beauty giveaway? that He thinks our appearance is less than beautiful? come to think of it, not only am i saying all of this to bug but i'm saying it to Him. something like, thanks, Father God for all of your many gifts and for making me ugly. it sounds crazy but, in essence, that is exactly what i'm saying.

it is now my goal to replace any negative thought about my appearance with something positive about my appearance. and to remember that i am a work of God and His works are marvelous. let's do this to show our Father we are thankful for these amazing creations we call our bodies, to show ourselves that we are indeed beautiful, and to show our daughters that they too are fearfully and wonderfully made!

mommy and her sweet beautiful bug

downsizing

2009-08-02T23:09:00.004-04:00

with the failing (but i hear starting to rebound...) economy the word downsizing has become a part of our everyday vocabulary. what a nasty word. so in church this evening when the speaker (pastor was away) said the word downsize my ears perked up. see, my husband's company has filed bankruptcy so everyday he still has a job is a good one. but tonight the word downsizing wasn't referring to our economy and unemployment; it was referring to our sin.

we all to often downsize our sin. we call it by names that sound so much nicer. i like to refer to my sin as simply my weakness. i didn't mean to do it, i'm weak. i have been discovering lately how quick to anger i am. i am disappointed in myself and often embarrassed. and the receiver of my quick anger is my so sweet honey bear who never raises his voice at me or reprimands my tiffs. after tonight's message i realize that i have been downsizing these anger outbursts. i apologize following it up immediately with "i've just had a hard day" or "i don't mean to yell at you." my God is not onboard with these excuses. i figured that out today. these 'moments of weakness' are out and out sin. not only should i apologize without excuse to my husband but i must apologize to my Savior for the sin i have committed.

it is so much easier to tell honey bear i am sorry and that i wasn't feeling well and for him to tell me it's ok and hug me than it is to say to him that i apologize for my inexcusable outburst and then face the Lord and ask Him to forgive me. but in the end i know that God is working in my life and showing me these heart issues i need to work on. He wants me to be wholly His and He chastens those He loves.

i know i won't get this perfect from here on out but at least now i recognize the downsizing of sin in my life. i covet your prayers as i work on this area in my life. and i challenge you to look at your heart and see if you've been downsizing sin in any areas. it is time for a rebound of our heart economy!

Weeding

2009-07-29T23:55:00.007-04:00

most will probably tell you to gain followers you probably shouldn't make your first official blog post controversial in nature. well, i decided it would be best to start weeding out those that probably won't like me early instead of disappointing anyone later. my hope is that even those that disagree will still tag along for this blogging journey of mine. a little healthy debate is always good! the motivation for this blog came after reading Minnesota Mom's thoughts on it.

let's jump right in...

it is amazing how many looks of confusion and maybe even disdain you get when someone finds out you don't use the birth control pill. yes, ladies, we are going to talk about birth control. in the beginning of our marriage my husband and i used the pill for birth control. i went off of it at almost 2 years of marriage so we could start our family. It took eight months for us to get pregnant. during my pregnancy i had high blood pressure so at my 6 week check up my doctor told me he didn't want to put me on the pill until my bp level came back down. during that time i started doing a lot of reading about various forms of contraceptives. i read about the pill, about iuds, about iucs, about natural family planning (nfp). the things i learned about hormonal contraceptive shocked me and saddened me.

birth control and the christian is a hot topic. is the pill out but condoms are in? is nfp the only way to go? is prevention of any kind against the Lord's plan for families? i know good Christians that come in on all sides of this. i am not of the mind that prevention is wrong. but after my reading i am of the mind that hormonal birth control is against the beliefs of a prolife christian. that there can be a prochoice christian doesn't make much sense to me, but i felt the need to clarify.

i will not go into all of the medical, scientific aspects of hormonal birth control because i am not that well versed in it. i do know that birth control works in THREE ways. most of us, myself at one time, believed there were only two ways - completely stopping ovulation or making it difficult/impossible for sperm to survive. there is in fact a third way bc works - it makes the uterus an uncomfortable place for a fertilized egg to implant. if you are of the mind that life begins at conception this should be troubling to you.

i want to leave this to the 'smarter' people to discuss. until minnesota mom's post the majority of anti-bc articles i read by christians were quite emotion based. this article by randy alcorn is from a christian's perspective but it includes much medical and scientific research. i strongly encourage you to read it in its entirity. there is a good bit of medical jargon but i believe that your eyes will be opened to some amazing new info.

may the Lord give you discernment as you and your husband make decisions. because in the end your decision is really between you and Him.

A Longer Condensation of Does The Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions

By Randy Alcorn

And Away We Go

2009-07-27T23:01:00.004-04:00

well, hello.

i have never been very good at introductions...so let me just get to it. i am dani. i have, in the past year, become a stay at home mom. with this new role has come a lot of messing up, crying, sleepiness, and most of all happiness. i started perusing the internet (don't you love the word 'perusing') and found a bajillion online mamas! i wanted to be a part of this community and so here i am.

i plan to use this little corner of the web to share some of my mommy moments, some of my wifey moments, and all the ways the Maker of the Universe shows Himself in all of these moments.

some things you will notice in the coming days of my bloghood - i don't like having to use the shift key so i only capitalize when talking about God; my husband will be called honey bear and my sweetie little girl will be called bug or some variation of bug; and most of my posts will be late at night after the day has calmed down and me and the husband are chillaxin before bed.

i am so looking forward to 'meeting' all of you! see you tomorrow!

one last thing...there is a blogging mama and her family that really needs our prayers right now. please pray for baby stellan and the mckinney family as stellan fights for his little life.

read about stellan's story here: www.mycharmingkids.net